A series of articlesby Brandon "Blankman" Cavanaugh.

Almond Joyless

True story, Blankmaniacs: I was aching for a little bit of NCAA Football 2004 this past week partially for my fix of the game, partially for a bit of good karma. I loaded up the very scenario we saw on the 25th of September, �003: Nebraska vs. Southern Miss at night. I even had Corso and Kirk yelling in my ear, it was so dead on. As I released the BlankWrist from its brace prison and proceeded to do my thang, Nebraska caused turnovers, jumped on Southern Miss early, basically dominated them and ended up winning by a 49-3 margin. Of course, the real thing wouldn�t be this easy; it couldn�t be�could it?

It was pretty elementary, really. The defense started things off by ripping the ball away from Southern Miss like it was a 6th grade bully in a gaggle full of kindergarteners. The offense proceeded to then, now get this, score from the red zone! So much for that reason to bitch, but don�t worry, I�m sure those who want to will find plenty more fault with a 24 point win on the road. Oh, by the way, how about those sweet passes by Jammal? I never knew my Playstation dreams would become a reality. Cotton must�ve gotten a severe bug up his butt, said �Screw this running crap!� and told J-Lo to make like he was down 3 TDs to Iowa State. Ross Pilkington showed us why we�re all thankful he is where he is and Isaiah Fluellen showed us all why he got promoted. Josh Davis ran for some tough yards, as always, but the evening wasn�t so much about gaudy rushing statistics as it was about confidence.

Blankman�s Offensive Gem of the Moment Award goes to #5, Jammal Lord. I am amazed with the amount of crap that he gets and anymore, he just lets it roll off his back. Early on, I wasn�t sure how he�d take Daileygate, but as the weeks roll on, he looks more like what he is: a captain. His stats weren�t mind-blowing by any means at 6-13 for 124 yards, but get this: 2 TDs, 0 picks. Nicely done, sir. Jammal also made his presence known early on as he helped lead Nebraska down and into the end zone by shrugging off these dang foo� red zone worries. Tonight, Jammal looked good. He looked like a quarterback and most importantly, he looked like a winner. Now, Joe, don�t take this to mean I�m hopping off your bandwagon just yet, my son. You�re good and you know it. I have my thoughts that soon, you�ll be in the spotlight and you�ll shine brighter than the North Star, but for now? For the moment, anyway, praise the Lord.

Blankman�s Defensive Stallion Award goes to�um�well�anyone got a really sharp knife? Demorrio Williams looked freakishly�well�freakish against the Golden Eagles. Barrett �That Was Just� Ruud managed 7 total tackles along with matching Super Demorrio�s fumble recovery for the evening. Interceptions? We�ve got two and the nods go to Josh �That Ain�t No� Bullocks and Jarrell �Mary� Pippens (okay, can I take a mulligan on that one?). The defense, once again, played inspired ball and for those of you who want to try to take away another solid performance due to Damion Carter? He was in there against second and third stringers with ZERO pressure on him to produce. I could�ve lead USM down the field under those conditions and my spiral sucks!

I think Bo�ll be on the boys for giving up 319 total yards and for letting that late TD get away from them, but that�s what we expect out of the �Shirts, perfection. I believe Lombardi once said that perfection is unattainable, but if you chase it, you may just catch excellence. It�s good to get the lower guys some reps and did I spot one Sir Jason Lohr in there a bit this evening? In the end, the Blackshirts did what was asked of them, that being turn Dustin Almond into Almond Joyless. Another offense was corralled when it mattered, the Corngrigation is happy and resting peacefully and we can all bask in the glow of a warm road victory.

So, positives for the fourth game against the Iggles. The defense seemingly gets better week to week, the offense has gotten turned around from the run-first and pass-maybe-kinda-if-we�re-in-the-mood-not-tonight-honey way they were going. Jammal threw up bombs that looked like they should�ve gone into downtown Baghdad rather than Hattiesburg. We seem to have found ourselves not only a receiving corps but a red zone offense as well and huzzah for that. When you get down to brass tacks, this is what matters: 4-0, 1-0 on the road and another win in our pockets.

Up next come the mighty Men of Troy who, while perhaps not the most athletic bunch of rag tag rapscallions who have ever graced Grandma Memorial, do come prepared. I believe TSU lost a bit of talent due to graduation, the NFL and what not, but still, expect USU-like results, if not better. The home crowd should be treated to a decent offensive exhibition and in the end, a 5-0 record waits. Oh and before I depart for now, faithful Blankmaniac, here�s something to ponder: How sweet is it going to be watching 38-14 roll over the score ticker from morning �til night on Saturday? Take a deep breath and enjoy it.

Questions, commentary and other prattling mishmash can be sent to [email protected]

===Brandon a.k.a.Blankman #71===

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