(CAUTION: YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER A SPIN ZONE THAT FEATURES BRIEF GLIMPSES OF FULL FRONTAL SATIRE AND PARODY, WITH OCCASIONAL LAME ATTEMPTS AT HUMOR. ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK.)
FROM
THE EMAIL BAG
TRIVIA TEST PART II
You readers are the best!! Several of you were quick to point out
the following errors in my trivia test:
1.) It was Mike McCloskey, not Gregg Garrity who caught the out-of-bounds
pass in the 1982 Husker-Penn State game in Happy Valley, PA.
2.) I. M. Hipp haled from Chapin, South Carolina, not North Carolina.
Dear Husker Dan:
In question #2 are you referring to the "Black 41 Flash Reverse
PASS", or just the Black 41 Flash Reverse? Also, in question
#11 (Tom Novak's jersey number) I was wondering which year you were
questioning, because he wore several different #'s.
Rich C.
Dear Rich: These two sites show conflicting versions of the name of
the play. 1
, 2
As far as Novak's number, the question referred to his number (60)
which was retired. Thanks for writing and for being a very sharp Husker
fan!!
CHIP CHUCKLEY SHOW
Dear Husker Dan:
Man, the first part of your column was the dumbest thing I've ever
read. That was very lame.
Jerry L.
Overland Park, KS
Dear Jerry:
At first, I didn't know what you meant because most of what I write
falls into that category. Then it dawned on me that you might be referring
to the first "call" from "Edna" on "the Chip
Chuckley Show". "Edna" is a character in the current
computer animated box office hit, "The Incredibles". The
movie character is a tiny woman, with huge glasses and is rather funny.
She says things like "hawbah" for horrible "dahling"
for darling etc. For those who haven't seen the movie, Edna's dialogue
would probably seem pretty bizarre. Sorry for the confusion.
CHEERLEADERS
Dear Husker Dan:
Hi there, I was thinking maybe you could help me. I took the attached
photo (Husker Cheerleaders) at the Spring Game and would love to get
copies of it to the girls, do you know of a school website that I
could send this to? I don't want anything for it, I just think they
would like to have it. Thanks in advance.
Lonnie D. Tague
Multimedia Management Section
US Department of Justice
Dear Lonnie: It's posted. Hopefully, this picture will find its way.
Thanks for sending it to me.
Dear Husker Dan:
I need help. My CU buddy keeps e-mailing me Nebraska jokes. I can't
seem to find any Colorado jokes. Can you help a Brother out? Stuck
behind enemy lines in Walsenburg Colorado. The main HUSKER FAN in
Walsenburg.
Greg U.
Walsenburg, CO
Greg: Go to this
site.
Dear Husker Dan:
Nebraska AD Steve Pederson has recently announced that the University
of Nebraska will be changing its tunnel walk music for their upcoming
home game against Colorado on November 26. The new song will be "I'll
Be Home for Christmas".
Gary A.
Papillion, NE
HUSKER
STORIES
I'll preface my memory with the fact that I am a recently new addition
to Husker Nation, but I will put my new-found love for Big Red up
against the most loyal of fans. I married into Nebraska hysteria,
and although growing up in Denver I never had a connection to CU.
Prior to attending my first Memorial Stadium experience last year
against Oklahoma State, I was excited to be a part of the game day
fun. I had heard from many how I should arrive early, tailgate, take
in the atmosphere outside the stadium and above all don't miss the
tunnel walk.
Well, nothing about that glorious Saturday afternoon was overhyped.
When they finally started playing "Sirius" and the players
emerged I felt like I could suit up with the Blackshirts and start
"laying some hat" myself. After a Husker victory I stood
and applauded the Cowboys with the other Big Red faithful and realized
I was amidst a special following of fans. There's a reason people
think of the Husker Nation as the best fans in college athletics,
because above all else they're loyal.
While our 2004 version of Big Red has had more ups and downs than
a grain elevator, we stand behind the school, the players and the
coaches. Everyone takes his lumps every now and then and this is a
trying time. While I may be a bit wet behind the corn ears as far
as tenure as a fan is concerned, it doesn't take 50 years of Husker
knowledge to understand this program is too proud to lie down. This
may not be your Granddaddy's Huskers, but its also not the way I knew
Big Red faithful prior to marrying into Husker heaven.
I've lived and died Nebraska football for a relatively short period
of time. However, since my first personal glimpse at Husker Nation
last year I'm all "N". For those few fickle fans who have
lost faith, I suggest taking a (tunnel) walk of their own....away
from Lincoln.
Keep up the good work Dan,
Dave B.
Denver, CO.
Readers: All of you have a Husker memory or story you need to share with Husker Pride Worldwide. Your story might be about the first Husker game you ever saw; it could be about the last Husker game you shared with a loved one, or maybe it's a story of what you had to do in order to get Husker tickets. It could be a funny story or just a memorable one. Whatever memory you have, send them to [email protected] and Husker Dan will post the best ones in his column.
HUSKER
DAN SEZ
LET THE BUFFALO CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY
As editorialist Darrell R. Turbeaux of Lynch, Nebraska
would say, "You'd have to have manure for brains" not to
know what's at stake in this Friday's game in Lincoln with the Colorado
Buffaloes.
A Husker loss to those *&^%! Buffaloes Saturday would mean:
1.) An end to the 35 year record of consecutive bowl game appearances
that began in 1969, the year Husker Dan traded in his cool Nash Rambler
for a brand new "hot" Gremlin.
2.) An end to the record of non-losing seasons that began in 1962.
3.) You'll have extra money during the Holidays because you won't
be spending it on a bowl game package or hosting some hokey TV party
to watch the Huskers play in the Reynolds Wrap Aluminum Foil Bowl
in Fargo.
4.) The "Bring Back Frank" and the "I Told Ya So"
contingencies would come out in full force.
A Husker win over those &^%$! Buffaloes Saturday would mean:
1.) The Husker seniors could go out with a bowl appearance and a chance
for a winning season.
2.) Bill Callahan would have a winning season his first year at NU.
3.) There would be fewer lay-offs in the local travel agencies.
4.) Readers would get an additional stupid Husker Dan column...
5.) Steve Pederson wouldn't have to enter into the Witness Protection
Program.
STRINGS ATTACHED
To put all the consecutive bowl appearances and non-losing season
seasons strings in perspective, in 1962 John Kennedy was president.
Man hadn't yet landed on the moon.
In 1969, Cher hadn't had her first facelift. Regis Philbin still had
his own teeth. Pamela Anderson was flat-chested. Madonna was still
a virgin. And many of you "whippersnappers" were nothing
more than a gleam in your parents' eyes.
The Strings are remarkable, amazing, actually-but could (perish the
thought) come to a SCREECHING halt this Friday if the Huskers stumble
against the Buffs.
COTTON PICKIN' 'CLONES
Most of you know by now, with the 'Clones' road upset at Manhattan
over the weekend, the Huskers' bid for a BTN title fell faster than
a ringside fan at a Pistons game. Okay, for some Husker fans, not
having to play the Sooners twice in less than 3 weeks ranks right
up there with not having to make an extra trip to your friendly latexed-gloved
proctologist.
IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD
Barney Cotton might be laughing all the way to Kansas City. To be
sure, Iowa State (!) could be playing the Sooners for the BT championship,
December 4th. Yeah, and the next thing your gonna tell me is that
Utah and Boise State are Top Ten teams and that Texas at El-Incomplete-o-Paso
and Bowling Green (!) are ranked and the Huskers aren't. Is there
no sanity in the universe? Have the football gods gone mad this year?
Sigh.
This is one wacky year. K-State, who was the top of the heap in the
BT last year, throttling the mighty Sooners in the Big Twelve championship
game, not only won't be playing in this year's championship game;
they won't be going to any bowl game and have (are you ready for this?)
a losing (4-7) record.
This is the same year the Huskers suffered their worst loss in school
history, and the very next game, Husker QB Joe Dailey broke the all
time Husker record for passing yardage in a game. Go figure. "This
is wild stuff", as Johnny Carson would say.
WHITE BALL
The Huskers' last outing was an inspirational, emotional, gutty 27
point loss (30-3) to the 30 point favorite Sooners in Norman November
13th. Cory Ross played one of the most courageous games any Husker
running back has ever played. Once again, the Huskers had no pass
rush or any passing game of its own. The Blackshirts forced the Sooners
to be one dimensional, limiting the Big Red of the South to under
100 yards rushing, but the one dimension the Sooners did have, was
the passing of Heisman trophy winner Jason White who threw for over
400 yards and to 11 different receivers.
So what about the Buffs coming in to Lincoln with a 6-4, bowl eligible
team fresh off a last second, home victory over the K-State Wildcats?
EVEN-STEVEN
Statistically, the two teams are pretty evenly matched. Both are pitiful
in Turnover Margin, usually one good indicator of a team's strength,
or lack thereof. And both teams are pitiful defending the pass, with
the Huskers ranking 113th and the Buffs coming in at a cool 99th in
the national standings.
The Buffs have a slight advantage passing, while the Huskers have
been able to run the ball more effectively, even against the likes
of the Sooners. The Huskers are much better in total defense, giving
up 366 yards per game, while the Buffs surrender almost 425 yards
per game.
HOME SWEET HOME
Here's what it boils down to: The Huskers (are you ready for this?)
will run the ball, passing only when necessary, like when it's 3rd
and 2 inside the Buffs 5 yard line... But seriously, the Buffs will
pass and the Huskers will run. But the Huskers have one huge trump
card: The game is in Lincoln in front of 80,000 red clad, screaming
Husker fans who are not about to let their beloved Huskers down in
their hour of need.
DEVINE DAVANEY
To be sure, the crowd will make a difference-THE difference, in my
humble opinion. The ghost of Bob Devaney will be there, tipping a
pass to the Huskers or making sure Bobby Purify falls down on his
way to the end zone. Caution: Look out for the Buffs' field goal kicker
who can nail 'em from 60 yards. Scary. Really scary.
This game will likely go down to the wire, perhaps the Huskers first
OT game of the season. It could be 28-28 after 4, with the Huskers
winning it on a Cory Ross dash into the end zone to win it for the
Huskers.
Hey, it could happen!!!! Give a guy a break!!!
HUSKERS 35
PRAIRIE COWS 28
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