A series of articles
by Brandon "Blankman" Cavanaugh.
State of Emergency
The Blank One
is not much for stats but there is one stat that always gives me chills,
makes me proud and generally gets me giddy. It is the High Holy Grail
of Defense, it is the Pinnacle of Point Prevention and the University
of Nebraska attained it on Saturday, October 04 ‘003: A Shutout.
Not since October 21st, ‘000, nearly 3 years, has Nebraska been
able to prevent an opposing offense from scoring but the Troy State
Trojans were indeed brought along for your pleasure on Saturday.
I know I sound
like a broken record, but quite honestly, I don’t care. The
Blackshirts again play like men possessed even with two starters on
the sidelines for this bout. Bo Pelini took the time to formulate
a plan that would’ve put down an African rhino and his ‘Shirts
executed it with break-neck speed and deadly accuracy that would make
Ken Dorsey blush. 60 total plays were executed by Troy State, a measly
150 yards were accounted for and to the TSU fan who was sitting amongst
a gaggle of inebriated and live wire Husker fans: That’s not
normally how Husker fans act. We only get like that when we smell
blood in the water.
I attended the
ballgame with a friend of mine from Iowa City. Yes, he is a Hawkeye
but today, he was a Cornhusker and I tell ya, Blankmaniacs, he fit
in rather well. We were joined in Section 17 by a duo of backers for
the Scarlet and Cream Team who had obviously had a few and who were
HI-LARIOUS, so I owe them a shout out as well. Enough of personal
gratuity however, it’s time to get down to brass tacks and address
those who deserve to be addressed. Men of Corn, stand at attention,
you’re about to get your due.
Uber-amazing Offensive Manchild O’ The Week Award goes to Pierce,
Nebraska’s own Mr. Matt Herian. This kid catches wind of more
pig than a Texas defender and at least Matt actually catches them.
Herian made like it was ‘002 all over again and caught a bomb
from Jammal “This Week I Shant Offend The” Lord. Now don’t
get me wrong, Jammal had himself a quality day, but Herian’s
playing lights out per usual and the people in Pierce oughta be proud
of their baby boy. In the end, it comes down to this: Three catches
for 110 yards. That’s big play potential, that’s MAKING
the big plays. Herian’s got it, end of story.
Terrell Farley Memorial Award goes to, who else? Demorrio “Stinger?
We Don’t Got Time for No Stinking Stinger” Williams comes
through again and again and again. This guy has more energy in him
than the Energizer Bunny, well, if the Energizer Bunny had claws,
teeth and heat-seeking missiles. SDW finished the day with 10, that’s
right, 10 tackles, 8 of those solo. Not enough? Two sacks on top of
that. Williams has opposing offensive coordinators around the country
scratching their noggins until they flake, but don’t worry,
as soon, he will take your pain away. As an aside, I’d like
to send out mad props to Josh “Or Is It Dan? No It’s Josh”
Bullocks for snagging yet another pick in continuing with his one
per game average. Keep it up, my son and you’ll be in damn fine
standing come All-America time. As a matter of fact, props all around
to the Blackshirts who came up with a lovely 14 tackles for loss.
As I was enjoying
the drive home following a 30-point shutout, I quipped to my amigo
in Huskerdom, “I wonder how long it’ll take for someone
to demand more time for Dailey.” Sure enough, it was all I could
do to get Multivitamin’s (nickname still a work in progress,
see Josh Davis) name out of my mouth before “Kelly” calls
in and asks Frank why in the heck Joe’s not seeing more time.
Ah, so despite the miscued QB-Center exchanges of Hattiesburg, Daileygate
is in full force yet again following JJJ’s (That’s Jukin’
an’ Jivin’ Joe) display of athleticism and a 21 yard toss
to Mr. Herian as mentioned in subsection 24, paragraph 2A. I felt
Joe, on the whole, looked good. He still has to work on the pitch
off the option a bit, but he’s coming around nicely. As long
as he continues to see some time, he should be solid come the end
of the year and ready to go when Spring Ball comes a’callin’.
Ah and now the
part you’ve all been waiting for: The Positives. Many, including
myself, did not think Nebraska would cover the spread this week as
TSU typically gives the team fits for a while. It happened, just not
as long as I would’ve anticipated as Bo shut the door promptly.
150 yards total, those 14 TFLs, 6 sacks, only 5 penalties, a shutout
and a partridge in a pair tree. Also, a positive that will not show
up in any stat column except the one locked away deep in the recesses
of the BlankPsyche (and trust me, that’s not a place you want
to go without a crowbar, some manner of lubricant and duct tape).
There was fun being had in the stands. Laughing, carrying on, telling
jokes and that could lead to DANCING. Sorry, Bill Maher moment there.
Those who wanted to complain did, but they were rarely heard as the
crowd who took advantage of a less than name opponent coming to town
just had a damn good time. 42 dollars well spent, no doubt.
Up next comes
The Battle for the Nebraska-Missouri Bell. Even though the Tigers
haven’t won in the series since 1978, they are a feisty bunch
and believe me, they are not happy about losing The Border War to
their blue rivals across the way. What better way to get back into
the good graces of Coach Pinkel than knocking off Nebraska in front
of a crowd that will no doubt be “injected with good cheer”.
That causes me to pose a question for you, reader: Is it really a
trap if you know it’s coming? I’ve been impressed with
game preparation, conditioning and various other aspects of this team.
No doubt Bo will take notice of how Mangino’s crew manhandled
the Tiggers and, like the conniving cad he is, tighten the screws
In the end, Blankmaniacs,
this game, this 30-0 win was a testament to the season thus far. It
is an ode to an offense that does what it has to and a defense that
does what it wants to when it wants to do it. There was some good,
there was some bad, but the good more than outweighed the bad and
in the end, that’s good…right? To the Men of Troy, thanks
for coming, enjoy the check and kick butt as you continue, but just
remember when you see Demorrio in your sleep, it’s only a dream,
Trojans, it’s only a dream.
whining, dining and contriving can all be sent to Blankman71@cox.net
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