LOON DROPPINGS, VOL. 11
Nebraska 34, Colorado 32
11/24/00

In America, there are two very distinct post-Thanksgiving traditions. The first is to hunker down in front of the TV, eat leftovers and watch the classic holiday film, "A Christmas Story," which stars a boy named Ralphie who has two weeks to scheme up a way to get a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas. The second tradition is to hunker down in front of the TV, eat leftovers and watch the Colorado Buffaloes, who also have two weeks to plot a win over their hated rival, the Big Red. Well, as everyone knows, Ralphie -- the kid in the movie, not the Colorado mascot -- ends up shooting his eye out at the end of the film. As if on cue on Friday, Crouch & Co. ditched the "I" and went to the shotgun, and the result was a better finale than anything Hollywood could have dreamed up. Go ahead, look for a better ending to a college football game. I triple-dog-dare ya!

A few takes:

BROTHERS IN ARMS: Ever since the Great Norman Meltdown, it's been suggested far and wide that the Cornhuskers simply use footballs that have CAUTION: DO NOT THROW imprinted on them. But after Eric The Red went up top to drive NU to the game-winning score, it was clear how important it is to have an offense as nicely-balanced as a new set of Goodyears. Now, I know there are some Monday-morning purists out there that would have rather liked three straight Willie Miller trap plays on that final drive, but I for one am glad that Nebraska does not have Fielding Yost as a coach. Crouch's arm, mixed with Josh Brown's foot, saved the day. And while Brown was the man that got mugged by the Husker bench in a joyous scrum after the game, there were plenty more game balls to go around Friday: One to No. 12, Robert De Hero, the most underused toy in Solich's Sharper Image catalog; one to No. 8, Jon Gibson, who made two catches early in the game-winning march; and one to No. 30, Dahrran (In The) Diedrick (The Glory), who fielded a screaming one-hopper on CU's ill-advised squibber kickoff to set his 'mates up in great field position. In fact, if Diedrick doesn't get much playing time next year, he might consider giving hardball a try. The kid makes Derek Jeter look like Billy Buckner.

KICK 'EM, SCRATCH 'EM, POLK 'EM: As the unquestioned leader of the Blackshirts, Carlos Polk most certainly would have preferred a dominating defensive performance in his final game on the Killing Field. It started out well, with his king-size pick for a TD and a scoreless first quarter for the Bluffs. But instead, the hobbled Husker hero watched as his fellow defenders folded like a collective beach chair in the second half. It wasn't for a lack of heart -- 'Los showed the size of his ticker on Friday -- but the Blackshirts couldn't stop that little crossing route of CU's if they all had loaded revolvers. A few third-down stops earlier in the game, and the cardiology ward at Bryan Memorial Hospital probably wouldn't have been quite so busy after the final gun.

COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT: As goofy and unimaginable as the NU-CU series has been in recent years, there are always a few things you can count on. (1) Gary Barnett is always referred to as one of Those Genius Coaches, despite his 53-69-2 career record over 11 years; (2) Bob Griese always talks about how young and talented CU is; and (3) Nebraska always jumps ahead almost too easily early on, and we Loons fall into a false sense of security. Want a few more coinky-dinks? OK: Whenever the Cornhuskers play the Vermin in Boulder, they score on their first offensive play, as evidenced by the 1989, 1993, 1995 and 1999 games. And whenever they play in Lincoln, Colorado's quarterbacks can't seem to see the Husker defensive backs and linebackers for the entire first quarter. Polk's early score is the third time in the last three Lincoln meetings where a Blackshirt has returned a first-quarter INT for paydirt -- all into the same end zone. Jay Foreman did it in '96, Clint Finley did it in '98. How weird is that?

IF IT AIN'T BROKE: Don't fix it, I always say. But ABC had to give it a try, anyway. The network had the nation's collective attention in the fourth quarter with the gripping, back-and-forth battle between the Buffaloes and the Cornhuskers. Colorado, at midfield and driving more violently than Dick Trickle on ten cups of Sanka, snaps the football and ... and ... we get an update from ABC News about how they still don't know who the president is. Man, talk about dropping the ball ... which is exactly what Joe Walker did to a Craig Ochs pass while we were getting a quick in-game civics lesson, I hear. It's too bad that Joe, who has been about as popular with Husker fans this year as Gloria Steinem guest-hosting "The Man Show," couldn't have held on. He would have been the toast of Lincoln instead of just plain toast. Ah well, all's well that ends well.

PLAYING HOOKY: It hasn't been a good year for the Comparative Score Logic people out there. For one, Florida State, three-point losers to Miami, is in front of the 'Canes in the BCS slide-rule rankings. Nebraska, who waxed Kansas 56-17, gets a Holy War from CU, who lost to the sad-sack Jayhawks. And on Friday, Texas A&M, who pushed the Okies to the final gun, got throttled by Texas, who got wiped up by the Sooners by seven touchdowns. I guess that's why they don't call the award to the National Champion "The Athlon Trophy" or "The Lindy's Award," huh. On Friday, UT and their "quarterback of the future" -- Brent Mushmouthburger's words, not mine -- looked downright dangerous. If the Whorns go on to win their bowl game, they'll likely be highly-ranked to start 2001. But don't worry, they'll mess that up. They always do.

THE BOTTOM LINE: In the locker room after the game, an emotional Nebraska football team awarded the game ball of this classic, hard-fought victory to an unlikely recipient: Lincoln Journal-Star sportswriter Ken Hambleton, who's stepping down after three decades of covering the Big Red. In true Cornhusker fashion, Hambleton took the opportunity to hand-pick his successor. Ken chose defensive coordinator Craig Bohl, whose first story assignment was to interview himself about what that whole pushy-shovey thing with his boss following Swiney's interception was all about. And perhaps, with his inside sources on the team, Bohl can soon scoop the competing papers by writing a story about what bowl game Nebraska will land in. Are they headed to the green pa$ture$ of Tempe or New Orleans? Or are they headed to somewhere a little less lucrative, like Dallas or San Diego? Guess the Husker Nation, like everybody else in the college football land, will have to wait a week before making their Holiday travel plans. And speaking of Holidays, it would be almost fitting if NU came west to the San Diego beaches to celebrate another successful campaign. Where else but the Southern California surf would you expect them to Hang 10 (and 2?), dude? Go Big Red!

==STEVE==
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