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Winging It, Vol. 8:

As those of you who own PalmPilots are already keenly aware, Nebraska's amazing 348-week streak of being ranked in the AP Poll has, sigh, gone by the wayside. Let's all pause for a moment of silence.

Some people are very angry about this important streak coming to an end because it was highly relevant in their lives. Others are depressed about the whole thing. Still others are confused and have begun to experiment with alternate lifestyles, such as cheering for other teams, horror of horrors. But most Loons, it is safe to say, are succumbing to a phenomenon that always tends to strike following a Cornhusker loss. I am speaking, of course, about the "Yeahwell Reflex."

You see, part of what makes us Red Clad Loons such strong survivors is this unique, numerically-based defense mechanism that is designed to keep predators at bay. It goes something like this: "So your team beat the Huskers! Yeah, well, Nebraska still has 250 consecutive sellouts, 40 consecutive winning seasons, and 33 nine-win seasons in a row. They're third nationally with 767 total wins, have won 34 conference titles outright, and have won 56 of their last 57 games at home. By the way, NU leads the nation with 14 Top Eight awards, has a 90 percent graduation rate among players, and ..."

You get the idea. This numbing number chatter eventually causes opponents' smack-talking fans to become very disoriented due to shaking their heads back and forth during the diatribe. This, in turn, allows the Loon time to escape out the back door of the sports bar.

In fact, there is probably no other program in the nation where numbers mean so much to the masses. We Cornhuskers, we find strength in numbers. If Notre Dame is the program of iconography and mythos, then Nebraska is the program of cold, hard arithmetic. So, with that in mind, I thought I'd try my hand at pulling out some significant numbers that have seemed to emerge around the Husker program as of late.


the number of spectators to watch NU-ISU, which was a record crowd for Jack Trice Stadium

the number of spectators at Jack Trice midway through the fourth quarter, after the Nebraska fans headed for the nearest bar

the number of people pulling for Iowa State at Jack Trice had Brent Musburger not been there

times that Seneca Wallace was compared to other great athletes by the ABC broadcast team, to wit: Barry Bonds, Michael Vick, Antwaan Randle-El

time that Gary Danielson called Seneca Wallace "Troy Davis"

times that Nebraska fans called Seneca Wallace a bad name

times that Nebraska fans called Craig Bohl a bad name two seconds later

times that Nebraska fans called Frank Solich a bad name two seconds after that

time left in the first quarter before Eric Crouch was mentioned by the broadcast crew

the total amount of on-field minutes in Eric Crouch's NFL career, not mentioned by the broadcast crew

offensive plays in the first half run by the Huskers

plays that didn't look like they were being executed by the cast of "Little Women"

time left in the second quarter when Brent Musburger began calling for Mike Stuntz to relieve Jammal Lord

time left in the first quarter when Husker fans began calling for Curt Dukes to relieve Jammal Lord

the number of wide receivers who caught a pass thrown by Mike Grant in a clutch situation during his time at Nebraska

number of receiving yards Saturday by ISU's prolific wideout, Lane Danielsen, who is now coached by Mike Grant

The school-record number of career pancakes attributed to offensive lineman Toniu Fonoti, according to the 2002 Nebraska Football Media Guide

The school-record number of career pancakes attributed to offensive lineman Dan Vili Waldrop, according to the manager of the Village Inn on North 27th Street

time left in the third quarter when ISU's Tony Yelk attempted his first punt

time left in the third quarter when DeJuan Groce fielded Yelk's punt

time left in the third quarter when Groce was brought down, effectively ending any chance for NU to score on that drive

fingers raised into the air by T.J. Hollowell after the Blackshirts finally forced their first three-and-out

the number of points that NU was behind by at the time

the hitting average for Ross Pilkington during his two-year minor league baseball career in Arizona and Wyoming

the hitting average for Richie Incognito during his four-second boxing career in Pennsylvania

letters to various Nebraska newspapers from Cornhusker fans the week of Sept. 16, proclaiming Penn State fans as the rudest they've ever seen, by far, ever

letters to various Nebraska newspapers from Cornhusker fans the week of Sept. 30, proclaiming Iowa State fans the rudest they've ever seen, absolutely, by far, ever

letters expected to arrive at various Nebraska newspapers from Cornhusker fans the week of Oct. 21, proclaiming Oklahoma State fans as the rudest they've ever seen, absolutely, by far, ever, dammit

days that Thunder Collins had been suspended by the time Saturday's game rolled around

the likely scoreline had Thunder Collins been able to play Saturday

members of the Iowa State student section who wore T-shirts depicting a demonic-looking Calvin from "Calvin & Hobbes" urinating on a Nebraska football helmet

the year that an emblem depicting a demonic-looking Calvin from "Calvin & Hobbes" urinating on something someone doesn't like had officially become trite

cumulative GPA for Pat Ricketts, making him a five-time member of the Big 12 Commissioner's Honor Roll.

extra hours Ricketts will have free to study each night now that he's not practicing with the first-team defense

straight weeks that NU was ranked in the AP poll before falling out on Sunday morning

weeks they were ranked No. 1 during that stretch

weeks that Husker fans complained that the Cornhuskers should have been ranked higher

the number of fans who are complaining this week that the Cornhuskers should be ranked, period

years that it took for Demoine Adams to get his degree at Nebraska

quarters in Ames that it took for Demoine Adams to lose his Blackshirt

Dan McCarney's record against Nebraska

Cyclone fans who currently care about the seven

the basic defensive set for the McNeese State Cowboys

the yards Husker fans hope and pray NU's offense can gain on first, second and third down this Saturday, thereby keeping the defense off the field for a while

newspapers around the country that couldn't wait to use "Attack of the Clones" as their headline for last week's game

Nebraska's record away from Memorial Stadium since 1991 when playing in all-whites

Nebraska's record in Memorial Stadium since 1923 when playing in front of all whites

times that Brent Musburger referred to last Saturday's game as the biggest one in Iowa State's history

the ranking, in importance, that this game occupies in Nebraska football history

the anorexic number of yards NU rushed for against the Cyclones on Saturday

the last time Nebraska found itself 3-2 after its first five games

points that team came from winning the national championship that year

amount of relevance, in BCS points, that has on anything today

coach, Dan McCarney, who had to wash out Gatorade from his game clothes Saturday

coach, Frank Solich, whose season is shaping up to be a washout

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