R E D C L A D L O O N
Besides football, there are two things that really, really get me excited
about the end of the summer. One is that the neighbor kids soon will be going
back to school and therefore, the number of crimes on my street from 8 a.m.
to 3 p.m. will mysteriously begin to drop. Second, and much more importantly,
the new fall TV lineup is gearing up for my perusal. There are plenty of question marks that must be answered with the start of
the 2000 TV season. Will "ER"s Dr. Carter kick his drug addiction? Will Ally
McBeal gain weight? Can Ted Koeppel keep his hairpiece from attacking his
cameraman? These are the burning questions that have lingered in our
television junkie minds during the long, hot summer. Unfortunately, I won't be watching to see the answers. Not with HuskerVision
announcing the launch of its all-Husker cable network, HTV, which debuts
Sept. 1. Here's what TV GUIDE says will be on during that highly anticipated
channel's first day: 9 a.m. - LIVE WITH ROZIER AND ODIOUS LEE (Talk/Variety) Today: Longshot
congressional hopeful Tom Osborne; How to make a wedding cake with Runzas (60
min) 10 a.m. - EIGHT IS ENOUGH (Talk/Variety) Host Bill Byrne leads a roundtable
discussion over the worthiness of a certain two-thirds of the Big 12 South
(30 min) 10:30 a.m. - PULP FICTION (Fantasy) Over a glass of orange juice at
breakfast, Texas coach Mack Brown daydreams about the series of unlikely
events needed to take his team to Miami, the site of this year's Bowl
Championship Series title game (30 min) 11 a.m. - FREAKS AND GEEKS (Talk) The men behind the BCS formula, Part One
(60 min) Noon - STARK RAVING MAD (Talk) The men behind the BCS formula, Part Two (60
min) 1 p.m. - WHOSE O-LINE IS IT, ANYWAY? (Drama) Milt Tenopir and Frank Solich
argue over who recruited who along the 2000 Pipeline (60 min) 2 p.m. - CHARLIE'S ANGELS (Documentary) Replay of the 1999 Big 12
Championship Game (60 min) 3 p.m. - SUPERMARKET SWEEP (Game Show) While on his way to the Tallahassee
Mall, a hungry Pete Warrick stops off at Albertson's and, realizing he has no
coupons, decides to get creative (30 min) 3:30 p.m. - WHO'S THE BOSS? (Comedy) In this episode, DeAngelo issues a nasty
ultimatum to his headman, forcing Frankie to decide that enough is enough
(repeat) (30 min) 4 p.m. - FRASIER (Comedy) Niles courts Daphne; Eddie gets a new bone; Tommie
breaks yet another Gator tackle despite recurring blood clots (repeat) (60
min) 5 p.m. - GOD, THE DEVIL, AND BOB (Animated) Theologians debate exactly where
in the deity pecking order the Bobfather sits (30 min) 5:30 p.m. - SHAFT (Drama/Comedy) The detective is called upon to find several
missed calls in the 1994 Orange Bowl between Nebraska and Florida State (30
min) 6 p.m. - THAT 70s SHOWING (Comedy) With 13 seconds left against Insignificant
State and ahead 69-3, Spurrier is forced to choose: kneel on the ball or kick
the field goal? (30 min) 6:30 p.m. - WAKING DAN DEVINE (Movie) Notre Dame athletic director Kevin
White visits a psychic who communicates with dead coaches in hopes of
repairing his troubled football program (90 min) 8 p.m. - MORTAL KOMBAT: ANNIHILATION (Sports/Entertainment) Brent Musburger
and Terry Bowden fight to the death in a steel cage. That is suspended by an
increasingly frayed rope above a vat of oil. Burning oil, with piranhas and
sharks swimming in it. Plus, the cage is housed in a cargo plane on autopilot
and nearly no fuel (90 min) 9:30 p.m. - THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN (Movie) After running out of boobs to
play, KSU coach Bill Snyder calls Jim Henson Enterprises with a gridiron
challenge (90 min) 11 p.m. - CHATRUUM 2NIGHT: I RULE, U DRULE (Talk) 13/m cyberfans teach otherz
how 2 rite kewl online, 2 B used in sports chat rooms and also 4 message
boardz, 2. Age/sex check required (cLoSeD cApTiOnEd) (30 min) 11:30 p.m. - THE (TOO LITTLE, TOO) LATE SHOW (Talk/Variety) Tonight: Stupid
Heisman Tricks; Top Ten meaningless garbage-time touchdown by Nebraska
opponents. Co-hosted by Troy and Darren Davis of Iowa State (60 min) 12:30 a.m. - LEI MISERABLES (Drama/Musical) Thinking they will get an easy
"A" by taking a theater class, Hawaiian Huskers Dominic Raiola, Junior
Tagoa'i and Toniu Fonoti must sing their way through a Lied Center production
of a French Revolution re-enactment (60 min) 1:30 a.m. to signoff - SNOTS LANDING (Horror) A horde of boorish Big Ten
football coaches invated the small Arkansas town of a blue-chip recruit and
zap the populace with Superiority Rays (90 min) Be sure to check your local listings to see where HTV shows up on your dial.
My guide shows it at Channel No. 1. Whatta coincidence. ==STEVE==
Winging It, Vol. 2:
I WANT MY H.T.V.
8/16/00
Red. White. Loon. Show your true colors in THE POND,
Home of Nebraska's RED CLAD LOON.
http://www.redcladloon.com