H U S K E R D A N
HUSKERS DIAL WON-800 TO DOWN 'CATS 21-3
BIG WED WAP-UP
Okay, so the Huskers racked up #800 on the all time school victory chart,
ended a 10 year losing skid at Manhattan and as a bonus, became bowl
eligible. In the process, the Huskers beat up on a team that started
several freshmen on the offensive line (a couple of former starters
were summarily demoted earlier in the week by Wildcat Head Case, er
Head Coach Ron "I'm a King, Not a" Prince) and a true freshman
quarterback (Josh "We Ain't Comin'" Freeman) who was making
only his second career start at K-State.
Well, you should be. Considering where the Husker program was a year
ago or gasp! two years ago, the Huskers have made drastic improvements.
True, the talent level of the teams we've defeated hasn't been very
good, but last year, the Huskers used to struggle against such teams.
Does anyone remember the K-State game in Lincoln last year? It was the
Keystone Kops with a couple of bear cubs trying to seduce a football
thrown in for good measure. And how about the Pitt-er, Pittsburgh game
last year? Maine? Kansas? Missouri? Sigh.
As I keep saying, this Husker team is not a finished product...yet.
But the Huskers have taken care of business in the games they've won.
But in the only true test of season so far, at SoCal last month, the
Huskers lost by 18.
Maurice Purify seems to have a knack of being in the right place at
the right time and catching most everything that comes his way. I hope
Mo gets a flu shot this fall.
ITS A FOOTBALL GAME, STUPID!
Why did the PPV channel do a stupid interview with new K-State B-ball
head coach, Bob "DWI" Huggins? I mean, there was a football
game going on that they seemed to have forgot all about. Just stick
to the game, already!
ELMER FUDD PLAYER OF THE GAME
DEAR AUNT ROSIE
She's young, she's tan and she's rested. The grand lady of Husker advice
is back and although she's getting up there in age, she's still as sharp
as ever. Please welcome her back to Huskerpedia.
"Remember, she's the voice of reason during the football season."
Dear Aunt Rosie:
You gotta help me! My idiot husband, Delbert (not his real name), who
is huge Husker fanatic (more like lunatic?) for years has decorated
our Christmas tree exclusively with Husker ornaments. There's a Bob
Devaney Santa Claus, a Bill Callahan snowman and even a little nativity
scene with Tom and Nancy Osborne playing Mary and Joseph and little
Frankie Solich as the Baby Jesus. The tree is supposed to be green,
but the knothead spray painted the thing bright red (it's an artificial
tree). All the lights are red, the tree blanket is red and even the
light cords are red. It's bad enough that I have to put up with this
monstrosity during December, but now the old galoot is having a bunch
of his cronies over this Saturday to watch the Texas game. That's okay,
but get this-he wants to set the tree up for his party and keep it up
until January! Do you believe that! I don't know what to do. It's been
like Death Valley this fall and now he wants to put up this stupid tree
in October. What's a person to do?
Dear Sue: Sounds like you've got a husband who is a couple of bulbs
short of a full string. The tree bit, like you said, is tough enough
to swallow in December let alone October and November. Aunt Rosie is
all for displaying Husker spirit whenever possible. You are lucky that
Delbert is so wound up in a such a good cause. But like most things,
there is line that shouldn't be crossed-like collecting John Tesh, Yanni,
Barry Manilow and Aker Bilk records. How about telling Delbert that
you'll split the difference? Tell him he can have another party for
the Big 12 Championship game December 2nd and can show off (!) his Big
Red Tree. After all, marriage is all about compromise, isn't it? That's
what I'd do. Good luck, deary.
Dear Aunt Rosie:
My husband was yelling the other night about the K-State not being called
for "rubbing the passer" or something when Zac Taylor was
knocked down after a play. My husband got so mad at the referees, I
thought he was going to have a coronary, right there on the spot. What's
so bad about rubbing a quarterback? I thought football was a contact
sport. I don't get it.
Dear Vi: If ol' Aunt Rosie didn't know any better, she'd think you were
pulling her varicose vein stained leg! I think your husband meant, "roughing
the passer". Land sakes, when's the last time you visited an ear
doctor, sweetie? You need to have your ears roto-rooted, or something.
And that's EAR doctor, not REAR doctor. That's what I'd do. Good luck,
Dear Aunt Rosie:
Like me and my boyfriend are like big Husker fans-huge! We've gone to
all the Husker games together this fall. Last week , I go, "So
when are we leaving for the Texas game?" And then he goes, "Like
I can't go." And then I'm like, "Why can't you go?" And
he's like, "I have to work." And I go "Okay, so can I
take a friend with me?" And he doesn't say nothing. Then like,
I found out later that he doesn't have to work and that he's going with
one of his buddies from work! Do you believe that?! So then, like I
asked him if that was true and he goes, "Do I have to go everywhere
with you?" I'm like, "Why did you lie to me?" And he
didn't say nothing. So I go, "Fine, you can get another girlfriend."
He hasn't called or even text messaged me since then. I've tried to
call him but he won't return my calls. Now I feel stupid. I've lost
a boyfriend and my Husker tickets. What should I do?
Dear Anna: Have either of you ever heard of the word "said"?
Anyway, back to your problem. It sounds like you issued your squeeze
an ultimatum that now you wish you hadn't issued-sort of like buyers
remorse in reverse. What's a girl to do? You just assumed his football
tickets were yours when they weren't. You might try sending him (via
snail mail) a nice note of apology. Tell him how sorry you are for being
so rude. Maybe he'll call you. And maybe Ryan Seacrest will have grandkids.
Good luck, deary.
HUSKER DAN'S ARMY UPDATE
(The following letter is from Gary McGirr with the Northeast Kansans
For Nebraska Alumni group in Topeka, Kansas. The NEK4NE group is in
charge of accepting donations and coordinating the HUSKER DAN'S ARMY
To: Larry and Candy H:
Thanks for you donation. That made a lot of folks very happy in Iraq.
Our chapter tries to be like a helpful conveyor belt. Whether it is
information or a product we get things to where they need to go. It
has been really interesting how all this has transpired.
You and Larry gave us that huge box of sweat shirts two years ago. Sgt
Myles Froehling, the Military police person in Iraq gave those sweat
shirts to Iraqi citizens as a gesture of good will. That was a very
good thing. Now you gave us all of those Game day t-shirts; and they
were put to good use. Thanks to you for making it all possible.
(The following is a letter to Gary McGirr from Josh Howard, a Husker
soldier stationed in the Middle East.)
I was just about to write ya Gary. Yes we got them (T-shirts) yesterday
and they went like hot cakes. Thank you for sending them. Everybody
loved them. Especially all of the specialty shirts like the OU vs. Neb
shirts-those were cool. Thank you Gary.
I just can't tell you how much your support has meant to us as a company
this year. I am coming home for Thanksgiving, and I am gonna go to the
Colorado game, I am so excited. It has meant so much to these guys and
to myself what you have done. It's people like you that keep American
soldiers strong. So stand tall in knowing that. I hope all is well in
your neck of the woods. Things are heating up but we are well prepared
and doing our job to the best to our abilities. I am gonna be bold and
call the K-state game. Neb 32-K-state-14.
(The next letter is from Doug Bogenhagen, another Husker soldier in
the Middle East.)
Thanks for the message. I finally received all the football tapes up
to the Troy game. Our air strip was under repair and we didn't get mail
for 5 weeks. Typical for Afghanistan. The guys really appreciate the
videos. It's the highlight of our month. Still training the Afghan army.
They are good fighters and are getting better. They are trained up on
their howitzers and are doing pretty well firing at the Taliban. Hope
all is well for you. Looks like the weather has cooled in NE. It is
still in 80's here during the days.
HUSKER DAN SEZ
The Huskers have been chugging along over the last 10 games at a very
respectful 9-1 pace. The lone loss was against #2 Southern California
in Los Angeles in last month.
This season, the Huskers have put up some fairly impressive Big 12 conference
#1.) Rushing offense
#4.) Passing offense
#1.) Total offense
#3.) Scoring offense
#4.) Rushing defense
#1.) Pass efficiency defense
#1.) Scoring defense
#2.) Turnover margin
That's the good news. While the Huskers are 6-1 and 2-0 in the Big 12
this season, the combined record of the teams we have beat is a sobering
15-24. This is not the kind of a record that will intimidate a team
like the Texas Longhorns.
The national and conference stats are fairly close for both teams. Even
the non conference schedule includes a very strong opponent for each
team-for Texas, it was Ohio State at home: for the Huskers, it was Southern
Cal in Los Angeles. The 'Horns may have a schedule edge because they
defeated the Sooners on a neutral field when Oklahoma still had a healthy
So what's going to happen this Saturday for the shoot-out in Lincoln?
In my view, while the Huskers have made major strides in its football
program, the Huskers are not "there" yet. If the Huskers are
to win they are going to have to be able to shut down Texas' running
game and must be able to consistently run the football themselves (probably
between the tackles) to have any chance of winning the game.
The Huskers are going to have to make a statement from the opening kickoff
that they have come to play. If the Huskers don't make errors; if the
special teams can help with field position, the Huskers will have a
In short, the Huskers are going to have to play a near perfect game
to win. This one is going to go down to the wire. It is going be Harrier-jet
loud at Memorial Stadium Saturday morning. You'll be able to feel it
when the crowd gets into its "HUSKER!" "POWER!"
chant before the game. It will deafening. It will be the place to be
on the planet. Not since the Sooners came to town in '01 will the Stadium
have seen such a spectacle. Hang on Husker fans. The Huskers aren't
"there" just yet. Maybe next year, maybe in '08, but not this
Saturday. Sorry Husker fans:
THE BEVOS 24
If you'd like to give Husker Dan a piece
of your mind you may email Husker Dan at firstname.lastname@example.org.
For past Husker Dan columns, click here.