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H U S K E R    D A N


Dear Readers:
One of the joys of writing this column is that I get a chance to hear from people all over the United States and even from several foreign countries. Readers tell me their favorite Husker stories; they forward family pictures; they send poetry and cartoons, and even send Husker memorabilia to me.

One thing these people share, is their undying passion for the Huskers. Their feelings for Nebraska football range from adulation to contempt-the latter stemming from the recent turmoil surrounding the Husker football program.

My column has always tried to offer opposing views, because I believe a healthy discourse is stimulating.

So far this season, I have posted many letters from those who don't like the new West Coast Offense; who think the firing of Solich and the hiring of Bill Callahan was a huge mistake and think (wishfully, in many cases) the Huskers are headed for certain damnation having sold their souls to the football gods. I have responded to the more cogent letters each week in a polite and fair-minded way (I hope). My column has countered these naysayers with a consistent theme:

Be patient-the West Coast Offense is a work in progress.
Callahan has an inexperienced group of players to run his offense.
They are all learning as fast as they can.
Joe Dailey has made just his fourth career start and is doing his best to learn the complexities of the WCO.
Joe will have good days and bad days.
Three or four games is not ample time to absorb or to evaluate the WCO.
Help is on the way.
Despite all the youth and inexperience, the Big 12 North is still winnable for the Huskers this year.
Give Callahan time and he and his staff will attract great athletes who will restore the Huskers to their rightful position among the elite of college football.

But the negative letters have continued to roll in each week. Day after day. Every week. The same message. Many of the letters I receive (but haven't posted) are poorly written; are filled with misspellings, inaccuracies, are patently absurd and are often void of any logic.

So, I decided to write a satirical piece to respond to these opinions; an "editorial" so silly and so absurd that no one would possibly take it seriously. I borrowed (okay, stole!) some of Johnny Carson's "Floyd R. Turbo" character, added a dash of the "Hans und Franz" (the body building characters from "Saturday Night Live"), sprinkled in some of The Red Clad Loon's "Elmer G. Hicks" character and viola, "Darrell R. Turbeau Cornhusker American from Lynch, Nebraska" was born.

In order for satire to work, it must contain an element of truth. So I included a smattering of it in the "editorial" but also added a slew of misspellings, false assumptions and made sure the piece was absolutely void of any real logic. I was positive no one would take it seriously.

Boy was I wrong.

Dead wrong.

Several readers did get it. They understood immediately that it was a parody-a satirical piece and thought it was pretty funny.

But most of you did not get it. Didn't even come close.

This was a case of Dan Rather in reverse. He tried to pass a piece of fiction as the truth; I'm trying to show everyone a piece of "truth" is pure fiction. Sigh.

The site received so much hate mail, HuskerPedia felt compelled to remove the column. So, I'm offering an apology for anyone who took the "Editorial" as a real. I'm apologizing to the fine people who run HuskerPedia. The "editorial" was intended to be a piece of satire, a parody directed toward those who defy reason and to continue to denigrate the new era of Husker football.

In the future, I will put a disclaimer on any and all of my additional attempts at satire-assuming HuskerPedia posts them. So please, please, please, pretty please, continue to read HuskerPedia. And Husker Dan...

Upward and onward...
Husker Dan

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