H U S K E R D A N
She's BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aunt Rosie returns to help you with your problems during the coming Husker year. She's getting up there in age, but she's still as sharp as ever. Please welcome her back!
"She's the voice of reason during the football season".
Dear Aunt Rosie:
Where have you been? I heard through the grapevine that you were laid up in the hospital earlier this year. If this true, how are you doing and when will you be back to writing your advice column?
Land sakes, it's nice of you to write!!! Yes, I was out of action for awhile. It was in early January, I was taking a load of empties out to the recycling bin, when I slipped on some ice, fell on my keester and fractured my hip. Luckily, my next door neighbor, Elmer, was watching me with his binoculars (he's a nasty old man!) as I flew into the air like a quarterback being clotheslined by Grant Wistrom. Elmer called 911 and in a matter of minutes, I was in an ambulance and headed for Bryan LGH. But I'm back at my typewriter and raring to get started with another Husker football season worth of advice. Thanks for thinking of me, deary.
Dear Aunt Rosie:
I need your help. It's my husband, "Earl". He's so upset over Frank Solich's firing that he keeps saying he's not going to go to anymore Husker games this fall. He doesn't like the new French Toast Offense (or whatever the stupid thing's called). He's been going to the games for over 40 years. Says he can't stand all the changes. What's my problem?
Quite frankly, I always look forward to getting the old galoot out of the house on Saturdays so I could have some peace and quiet around here. What can I do to make sure he continues to go to the games?
Oh dear, Aunt Rosie can really sympathize with you on this one. What's a wife to do? I'm sure you love your hubby, but Rosie also understands the need for you to have some quiet time to yourself. If, as you say, he hates change, ask him if he still drives the same car he drove in 1964. Does he still have a rotary phone? Does he still get only three channels on his TV? Does he still use rabbit ears?
Ask him if he likes the expansions the stadium has had over the past 40 years-more seats, skyboxes, Tunnel Walk, Husker Vision, new sound system, new Field Turf, scoreboards and weight room.
I'll bet he has a cell phone, watches cable TV, has a VCR and a DVD player, surfs the Internet, emails his buddies all the latest ca-ca jokes, drives a car with seatbelts, ABS brakes, airbags, All Wheel Drive, CD player, heated seats, moon roof, the works.
Look, nothing stays the same,deary. Has Earl put on a few pounds during the last 40 years? Has he aged a bit during that time? Is Drew Barrymore a terrible actress? Everything changes. It's high time Earl changes his attitude. Tell him if he doesn't go to the games this fall, he'll be missing out on seeing the beginning of another coaching legend like Devaney and Osborne and, well, Devaney and Osborne. Think of all the fun he'll be missing out on if he stays at home and mopes! Good luck, deary.
Dear Aunt Rosie:
I never in my wildest dreams would have ever thought I'd be writing you, but here I am. I recently was fired from my job. I mean this was a BIG job, if you get my drift-bigger than the governor's. Anyways, like I was saying, I got busted, "let go", axed, pink slipped, dropped, slammed, dismissed, crap-canned, railroaded, ousted, beaned and whatever other names you can think of, by this new diabolical boss of mine who had it his goal since Day One-DAY ONE-to go get rid of me, no matter what I did or how successful I was. My work has always been excellent. My reviews were always good. Never had a losing season, I mean, I never had a bad review. I've always made money for the company. I always showed up for work-I put in some hellacious hours. Even neglected my wife and family. I devoted my whole life to that program, er, company, and this is the thanks I get? I can't sue (I received a 7-figure parachute).
Anyways, like I said, I'm out of a job. I mean I'm crushed, devastated, ripped. I feel like such a loser-even though I KNOW I'm a winner. I don't know what to do. It just goes to show you that loyalty means nothing these days-NOTHING, I tell you! My question is, I have my house up for sale. I can't live here anymore. No way, Jose. Me and the wife are out of here-PRONTO! My question is, how can I overcome the bitterness, the hurt , the sorrow and depression I'm feeling? What should I do to make myself feel better? How can I go on from here?
No Name in Nebraska
Dear No Name:
For starters, I'd think of ways to spend all that bread!!!! Seven figures is more than Aunt Rosie could make if she lived to be 280! Yours is a story that has been told all over the country, but most of the poor slobs who do get sent packing, don't get the loot you got. Land sakes, there will be an awfully short line for those wanting to shed tears for your lot in life. If you worked as hard as you say you did, were as loyal as you said were and had the kind of success you've had, then you have no reason to hang your head. Good luck, deary.
Dear Aunt Rosie:
I never in my wildest dreams would think that I'd ever be writing you, but here I am. I hold a really prestigious job-even bigger than the governor's, if I might say so. I make a ton of money and get to boss people around-hire, fire, the works. I used to work at this place several years ago in a different role. Now that I'm back, I'm the Big Kahuna, Top Dog, El Numero Uno. So what's my problem?
I had to fire one of my employees recently-I mean a biggie! There were many reasons besides the guy's record, I mean performance, as to why he had to be let go. To top things off, I hired someone outside the program, er, company to take this guy's place and in doing so, have become a pariah. Okay, so I could have handled the whole thing better, but it had to be done. Now I'm being made to be the fallguy through all this. I get hate mail like you wouldn't believe; had my house egged; I've had nasty things said about me in public. Look, I know the guy I fired has a lot of fans who are PO'd at me, and I knew what I did wasn't going to win me any popularity contests, but the latest thing to happen has sent me over the edge.
I'm talking about a magazine (it shall remain nameless) that came out with a poll that says I've been voted the number one "Enemy of the State". I mean, it's hurtful, embarrassing and totally uncalled for. Is this the thanks I get for saving the program, er, company? What can I do to escape the humiliation of all this? I mean, I'm just a nice guy who's trying doing his job. Please don't use my name, town or state. PLEASE!!!!
NO Name In No Town
Dear No Town:
Hmm. Something sounds fishy. Aunt Rosie is trying to connect the dots. Anyway, she thinks she understands your dilemma. Circumstances caused you to have to fire a popular employee who had good reviews, but you had to let him go for "other" reasons, and by getting rid of him, you may have saved the company, but you have "earned" a bad reputation in the process. What's a boss to do? Goodness, Aunt Rosie has never had to fire anyone, except that little milquetoast husband I used to be married to. So she doesn't really know what you are going through. If you believe you made the right decision in firing this guy and did so for all the right reasons, then be strong and pray that the new hire has a great record, er, gets great reviews. Good luck, deary.
Dear Aunt Rosie:
I never thought I'd be writing you, but here goes. I just got hired to do a very important job-bigger than even the governor's. Money is not a problem-I'm very well compensated. I've been on the payroll for about 6 months and everything has gone pretty well. I've been extremely busy, what with hiring a new staff, getting my family moved out here etc. I'm jacked up, geeked up and amped to get going in my new job. so what's my problem?
It's my boss. He means well and everything, but he got this wild hair about me going around the "territory" so I could meet all the people in our "branches". That's all well and good. I thought I would be going on the "tour" by myself, but despite my objections, my boss decided that he wanted to tag along with me. I told him, "Gee, thanks, but since I'm going to be the one doing all the work in my new role, you really don't need to come along."
But he wouldn't listen. We went on a whirlwind tour-8 stops in 16 hours-whew! We sometimes only had about 30 minutes at some places to meet everyone, so what does he do? He hogs the spotlight, gives some gas bag, long-winded speech about the company and the corporate vision and whatnot, and then leaves me with about 5 minutes to speak. I mean no disrespect to my new boss, but believe me, I don't need to share the spotlight with anybody else.
What can I do to let him know I'm capable of working on my own? Please don't use my name or town or state. Thanks!
Dear No Town:
Hmmmmm. Rosie was born at night, but not last night. This sounds like the "Fats Domino Theory". First a guy gets fired, then his new boss complains that he can't take the heat, and the new guy chimes in with his problems. Isn't anyone happy anymore these days? Oh, dear, Aunt Rosie shouldn't have said that. If it weren't for your problems, Aunt Rosie would be playing spit bingo at the Last Gasp Resthome.
As far as your "problem" boss goes, maybe the guy just wanted to be a part of the transition and felt that people would think that if he didn't go with you, he would seem to be uncaring about your new role. Give him a break. Cut him some slack. If he continues to butt into your affairs, just remember, there are worse bosses out there. Like Al Davis. Good luck, deary.
You can write Husker Dan at firstname.lastname@example.org