H U S K E R D A N
For those of you who are old enough, there was a
"Tonight Show" host BEFORE Jay Leno. Nebraska's own Johnny Carson (UNL
alumnus) hosted the show for about 25 years before Leno's debut. One
of Carson's many characters, was "Carnac The
Magnificent."
We were able to get Johnny and Ed to do a special Husker Encore performance of this classic bit. We hope you like it.
CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT
ED MCMAHON: And now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the all-knowing, the all-caring, the all-seeing, and former part time gas station attendant, CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Applause as east Indian music plays. Carnac enters wearing a robe and turban, trips on the steps and crashes into his desk. The audience applauds enthusiastically at his fall.)
CARNAC: (After he collecting himself, he looks at the audience and says) May a sick camel leave a deposit in your yogurt.
(Laughter)
ED: Are you okay?
CARNAC: Carnac fine.
ED: You know how this game is played. Carnac The Magnificent, with his mystic and sometime borderline powers will tell us the answers BEFORE he reads the questions!! I hold in my hand, the envelopes containing the questions. These envelopes have been hermetically sealed in a mayonnaise jar and stored at Funk & Wagnall's since NOON to day! NO ONE, NOT EVENT THE GREAT CARNAC has seen them! Are you ready to play?
CARNAC: Carnac ready.
ED: I hold in my hands, envelope number one.
(Ed gives the envelope to Carnac. Carnac holds it to his forehead and closes his eyes.)
CARNAC: Carnac must have absolute silence.
ED: (Says,quietly) Hermetically sealed.....mayonnaise jar.....noon today.....
CARNAC: "A Sea of Red"
ED: "A Sea of Red"
(Carnac opens the envelope)
CARNAC: What do you call a Tom Osborne look-alike convention?
(Audience groans)
ED: Envelope number two.
(Carnac puts the envelope to his head, closes his eyes and slowly dozes off....)
ED: Carnac? Carnac?
(Carnac wakes up, startled.)
CARNAC: Carnac have rough night last night.
"Barrett Ruud, Brent Mussberger and Elmer"
ED: "Barrett Ruud, Brent Mussberger and Elmer"
CARNAC: (Looking at Ed) I just said that.
(Carnac opens the envelope.)
Name a stud, a dud and a Fudd.
(Laughter)
ED: I hold in my hands the next envelope.
(Carnac opens it, holds it to his head and concentrates.)
Carnac must have absolute silence.
"The Texas Longhorns, Coach Pelini and Heidi Fleiss"
ED: "The Texas Longhorns, Coach Pelini and Heidi Fleiss"
(Carnac glares at Ed. Carnac opens the envelope.)
Name a foe, a Bo and a ho.
(The audience laughs.)
ED: Envelope number four.
(Carnac holds the envelope to his head.)
"Frank Solich, a hot air balloon and Ross Perot"
ED: "Frank Solich, a hot air balloon and Ross Perot".
(Carnac opens the envelope.)
Name a shrimp, a blimp and a wimp.
(Audience groans!)
ED: I hold in my hands envelope number five.
(Carnac holds it to his head and concentrates.)
"Josh Groban, Bill Clinton and Dave Humm"
ED: "Josh Groban, Bill Clinton and Dave Humm"
(Carnac opens the envelope)
Name a singer, a swinger and a slinger.
(Laughter)
ED: The next envelope.
(Carnac holds it to his head.)
"Ground game"
ED: "Ground game"
(Carnac opens the envelope.)
What do you call sausage made out of reindeer?
We were able to get Johnny and Ed to do a special Husker Encore performance of this classic bit. We hope you like it.
CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT
ED MCMAHON: And now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the all-knowing, the all-caring, the all-seeing, and former part time gas station attendant, CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Applause as east Indian music plays. Carnac enters wearing a robe and turban, trips on the steps and crashes into his desk. The audience applauds enthusiastically at his fall.)
CARNAC: (After he collecting himself, he looks at the audience and says) May a sick camel leave a deposit in your yogurt.
(Laughter)
ED: Are you okay?
CARNAC: Carnac fine.
ED: You know how this game is played. Carnac The Magnificent, with his mystic and sometime borderline powers will tell us the answers BEFORE he reads the questions!! I hold in my hand, the envelopes containing the questions. These envelopes have been hermetically sealed in a mayonnaise jar and stored at Funk & Wagnall's since NOON to day! NO ONE, NOT EVENT THE GREAT CARNAC has seen them! Are you ready to play?
CARNAC: Carnac ready.
ED: I hold in my hands, envelope number one.
(Ed gives the envelope to Carnac. Carnac holds it to his forehead and closes his eyes.)
CARNAC: Carnac must have absolute silence.
ED: (Says,quietly) Hermetically sealed.....mayonnaise jar.....noon today.....
CARNAC: "A Sea of Red"
ED: "A Sea of Red"
(Carnac opens the envelope)
CARNAC: What do you call a Tom Osborne look-alike convention?
(Audience groans)
ED: Envelope number two.
(Carnac puts the envelope to his head, closes his eyes and slowly dozes off....)
ED: Carnac? Carnac?
(Carnac wakes up, startled.)
CARNAC: Carnac have rough night last night.
"Barrett Ruud, Brent Mussberger and Elmer"
ED: "Barrett Ruud, Brent Mussberger and Elmer"
CARNAC: (Looking at Ed) I just said that.
(Carnac opens the envelope.)
Name a stud, a dud and a Fudd.
(Laughter)
ED: I hold in my hands the next envelope.
(Carnac opens it, holds it to his head and concentrates.)
Carnac must have absolute silence.
"The Texas Longhorns, Coach Pelini and Heidi Fleiss"
ED: "The Texas Longhorns, Coach Pelini and Heidi Fleiss"
(Carnac glares at Ed. Carnac opens the envelope.)
Name a foe, a Bo and a ho.
(The audience laughs.)
ED: Envelope number four.
(Carnac holds the envelope to his head.)
"Frank Solich, a hot air balloon and Ross Perot"
ED: "Frank Solich, a hot air balloon and Ross Perot".
(Carnac opens the envelope.)
Name a shrimp, a blimp and a wimp.
(Audience groans!)
ED: I hold in my hands envelope number five.
(Carnac holds it to his head and concentrates.)
"Josh Groban, Bill Clinton and Dave Humm"
ED: "Josh Groban, Bill Clinton and Dave Humm"
(Carnac opens the envelope)
Name a singer, a swinger and a slinger.
(Laughter)
ED: The next envelope.
(Carnac holds it to his head.)
"Ground game"
ED: "Ground game"
(Carnac opens the envelope.)
What do you call sausage made out of reindeer?
ED: I hold in my hands, the LAST
envelope!
(The audience cheers and applauds wildly!!)
CARNAC: (Looking at the audience, says:)
May a love-starved yak date your sister.
(Carnac holds the envelope to his head.)
(The audience cheers and applauds wildly!!)
CARNAC: (Looking at the audience, says:)
May a love-starved yak date your sister.
(Carnac holds the envelope to his head.)
CARNAC: "Eminen,
Josh Sewell and a Port O' Potty"
ED: "Eminen, Josh Sewell and a Port O' Potty"
CARNAC: (Carnac opens the envelope.)
ED: "Eminen, Josh Sewell and a Port O' Potty"
CARNAC: (Carnac opens the envelope.)
Name a rapper, a snapper and a
crapper.
(Audience laughs and applauds. The east Indian music plays as Carnac leaves the stage.)
You may write Husker Dan at [email protected] To read all his columns to date, go to the Huskerpedia.com homepage, scroll down toward the bottom to the line that says "Extras" and scroll to the right to the heading, "Husker Dan".
(Audience laughs and applauds. The east Indian music plays as Carnac leaves the stage.)
You may write Husker Dan at [email protected] To read all his columns to date, go to the Huskerpedia.com homepage, scroll down toward the bottom to the line that says "Extras" and scroll to the right to the heading, "Husker Dan".