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Thanks to Timothy Harrington for this analysis of the sometimes strange thinking behind the preseason rankings:

1. Texas - Will be ranked high, because they have a kid named Simms and a coach named Mack. Oh yeah, almost forgot all of those incredible recruiting classes too. None have proven squat and it won't happen this year either. Get out the hot seat!
2. Florida - Has a killer offense, as long as they aren't playing with two QBs. Stevie needs to pick one or die with it again this year. It doesn't matter much to me, I like videotaping all the Gator games and playing his tantrums back in slo-mo. Talk about entertainment!
3. Tennessee - Got strummed by Kansas State in the Cotton Bowl and this is supposed to be one of the best? Isn't that a bit like including Northwestern in there too? Maybe they should be...
4. Florida State - Let's see, they lost a great offensive coordinator and most of their starters. Top ten? Great athletes can only carry you so far. They shouldn't start here, because they won't get close to finishing here! The ACC can only carry you so far and for the first time in a long while, Clemson and GT will both beat you!
5. Miami - Isn't it about time for some sanctions or something? Really though, no top ten would be complete without completing the Florida trifecta, shouldn't they start at number 1?
6. Michael Vick Tech - Ranking these guys in the top ten to start is a JOKE! Sure, they'll go bowling, but those last minute comebacks are long gone! Now opposing teams can just play regular old defense and not worry about 99 yard QB scrambles.
7. Michigan - Are writers afraid to have a top ten without these guys or what? How about remembering these guys do need to rebuild once in a while? Like this year!
8. Nebraska - As always, an average recruiting class and the rest of the Big XII has already caught up to them! Oh wait, I almost forgot, we don't have any I-backs! Tee hee hee, the joke's on you guys! Diedrick gets 1,500+ yards!
9. Oregon State - Can't wait to see you get drubbed and have the opposing team clown on you! Payback sucks!