A series of articlesby Brandon "Blankman" Cavanaugh.

Karmic Realignment

Remember the Flea Kicker? Yeah, this was pretty much its antithesis. Ah sure, I know what you guys have been wondering ever since the season began and I started popping out these journalistic gems: What happens when we lose? What THEN Mr. Positive? Hmm, good question. Thing is? I can still manage to find a few positives out of this loss, believe it or not. Now, I don’t know if that makes me a sadist or not, you can be the judge.

I had more people telling me “It’s a trap!” this week than Admiral Akbar on a speed habit. I even studied some reasons before, during and now after the game why we may/could/might/kinda sorta/would lose and after watching the game, I think I’m going to play a little game called Good Blankman/Bad Blankman. Join me, won’t you?

Good Blankman

I thought, on the whole, Jammal played his best game of the year. Early on he was dead perfect with everything he threw and damn, didn’t that little swing out to Mark “Freedom” LeFlore look pretty? Jammal ended the night 12-for-19 with 146 yards, one TD and one pick which wasn’t too bad, concerning the circumstances. He made a couple goofy mistakes in the fourth, but the overall performance, in my eyes, washes over the single quarter. Jammal also managed 128 yards on the ground with a score and a long run of 35. Nebraska also garnered a hundred-yard rusher from David “Call Me Scatback and Ya Die” Horne.

Now, another note that I thought was particularly uplifting was the blocking of the fullbacks. Steve “Blue Collar” Kriewald and DeAntae “The Grix is Back” Grixby opened up some NICE holes, not to mention the work downfield on a few blocks. It was nice to see the offense click a bit, now given, towards the end of the game things just went from bad to worse and the two-minute offense installed, if there is one, is far from perfected.

Alright, I’ve remained calm, poised and even, dare I say, not saucy, but that is about to change. Put the children to bed folks, because Bizarro Blankman is about to take the field and he ain’t a happy camper.

Bizarro Blankman

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! Crimeny, all of a sudden did we get together and say, “Hey, you know what’d be a good idea? Remember back to last year when no matter what we did, we let other teams just run rampant? Let’s do THAT AGAIN!”

:: Deep breath::

Alright, now if football has taught me one thing, it’s that sometimes, you gotta be brutally honest, so here it is: That defense, whatever it was, is kaput. Dead. It is now not fit to sit on the shelf because it’s so used and abused, not even the phrase “Don’t Go There!” would allow it to be on its football team. Don’t get me wrong, folks, I am NOT condemning Bo for this, I really am not. I was wondering all the while when the wheels would come off, but see, here’s the tricky part. When do they come back on? What will be the real telling story is how quickly the defense’s confidences are rebuilt and they put the product that beat Okie State, Penn State, etc.

Wasn’t there a song that went, “Blame it on the rain”? That’s the thing that kills me, though, folks. If it wouldn’t have started pouring, I doubt Josh and Jack squirt the football out like a bad burrito from Taco John’s and give momentum back to Mizzou. Of course, we all know the sayings, so I won’t lean on that, much as I’d like to.

Regular Blankman

Okay, that was therapeutic for me and, truth be told, I actually feel a bit better. I DO, however, want to give props to Bradley “Can’t Catch Me” Smith, Zach “Bruiser Brody” Abron and Gary “Sure, The Past 24 Losses Mean Nothing, Really” Pinkel. Coach P. came out, put out the game plan of his career and won with a solid QB, a good rushing game and an opportunistic defense. Hmm, that sounds AWFULLY familiar.

So, positives. It’s time, folks, for me to do what I do best and that’s weave just a glimmer of hope into the outlook for the future. Sure, we knew our football team was good, Top 25 good, but #7 good? It was nice while it lasted and hey, look at the bright side, this swift kick in the posterior may end up doing more good than bad. Bo and his crew can only spin the 2002 yarn for so long before the D gets complacent, it’s just human tendency to do so. Now, he has a motivational tool that not only stings, it’ll remain in the present for quite some time. As far as the offense? We seem to have found some solid blockers and that can only spell good things as opposed to where things were. Jammal’s gotten some decent confidence and again, it’ll only help. The turnovers sucked, but they can be minimalized. Given, there’s not a lot of time left to get that out of the team’s system, but still.

So, hey, parity came and bit Dear Ol’ Nebraska U in the ass along with a number of other teams on Saturday. It’s that same parity that makes me both sad and happy. Sad for losing the game today, but happy in that NU might be in a decent position come the end of the year. I was sold on the idea that these coaches were hired to come in and make impacts. Well, a monkey wrench has been thrown into the gears and it’s time to see just how good the mechanics on the sidelines really are.

Have faith though, loyal Blankmaniac, for I shall be in attendance next week with The Rally Cap® and just like every week, there’s always a chance and at this point? 6-1’d be pretty cool with yours truly. Just my two cents, feel free to maul them if you wish. Take care, stay safe and Go Big Red.

Questions, commentary and recipes for a really good low carb French Toast can be sent to [email protected]

===Brandon a.k.a.Blankman #71===

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