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Shooting Point Blank

A series of articlesby Brandon "Blankman" Cavanaugh.

The Alamo Bowl: Priceless

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Dear Loon,
Thanks for all the time spent, all of the laughs given and all of the memories shared.
Sincerely,
Everyone
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Well, well, so Ol’ Blanky’s not dead after all. Quite the contrary, Blankmaniacs, but after my last offering, I needed some time to become one with the Blankness, ya feel me? Become one with myself and nowhere better to do that than Clancy’s Pub at 168th, but I digress. Fact of the matter is, we’ve got ourselves a ball game to discuss since last we saw the Cornhuskers slapping around buffalo like they were Head Chef at the Roadkill Café. I was curious how this endeavor was going to go as I had just about every scenario played out in my head. NU blowouts, medium-range victories and squeakers coupled with the same for MSU were all there and all had likely reasons. In the end though, Bo’s boys went to bed Sunday night and then woke up this mornin’, got themselves a gun…or something. The Blackshirts looked damn peeved at anyone in green, praise was heaped onto the Lord and Cory “Pohkchop” Ross ran past more Spartans than Jenna Jameson in a remake of “Gladiator”.

The one x-factor in this game was one Jeffrey Smoker, Esquire. Of course as the minutes passed and hours seemed like days to the MSU signal-caller, it was apparent that his motto towards the NU secondary went from “Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em” to “Puff, Puff, Give”. Smoker was slammed down faster than a Fuzzy Navel at Barry’s and the ass-kicking was on. The Blackshirts did their thing, sure, but the O had some tricks up their sleeves as well as 100% Cotton Ball was unleashed on the 0-5ers (against NU, that is). One thing I loved in particular was after Jammal launched that bomb to Isaiah “Das Wunderkind” Fluellen, he strut, not ran, not walked, STRUT down the field with a smile on his puss that was so sweet it gave the front row cavities upon first sight. Now, with that said, ON TO THE AWARDS!

Blankman’s Thanks For The Memories Trophy goes to Jammal “Praise The” Lord (come on, folks, it’s the last time I can use it, for crying out loud). Jammal not only had a damn fine game, he, get this, OUTPASSED the Big 10 Comeback Player of the Year, a guy whose system is build around him in terms of the pass. Jammal went 8-17 for 160 yards and added 79 more on 10 rushes including a SAHWEEEEET 66-yarder in which he stiff armed not one but TWO Spartans into the dust accumulating behind him then prompting a third to fall on his face. J-Lo had a fine night in his last as a Husker and deserves this one last award for the offensive guys, I think. Don’t worry PC, you’ll have many more before you’re done, no doubt. Jammal? Buddy, it’s been rough, no doubt, but you’ve pulled through. Do me a favor though, okay? Visit sometime. Contrary to what a few would have ya believe, you are loved here.

Blankman’s Frequently and Repeatedly Sliced Defensive Game Ball goes to the mob known as the Blackshirts. Not just the starters mind you, but the entire unit top to bottom. These kids busted their collective butts to go from a frequently maligned unit in 2002 to one of the top in 2K3. Much love goes out to Demorrio Williams (who I would LOVE to see get drafted to St. Louie, HINT HINT, Mike), T.J., Trevor, Pat, all of the kids who are leaving and all who are coming back. I am biased in my love for the defensive end of things, but let’s face facts, it was on the backs of the Blackshirts that the team needed to be carried a few times and, more often than not, they came through and always in a valiant manner. Here’s to you, ‘shirts, now throw up the bones!

Now for the weekly topic that, in one way or another, classifies me as a bad fan who should be excommunicated from the Church of All Nebraska and cast out into the world of the Longhorn. Personal foul flags flew about as often as a 747 and had just about as much impact when slammed into the MSU Spartans. Now, in terms of all of the jawin’, fussin’ and a’ fuedin’, I really don’t mind it. From what I saw, Richie Incognito did nothing but defend himself from the continue assault of MSU’s Greg Taplin. Now, typically in these situations, it’s the second guy who gets caught, not so in this instance. Sure, it’s a silly thing to do out there and ideally, yeah, you’d like your kids not to do anything stupid that’ll cost you, but hey, that fire and passion is something that has been missing for a few years now. Throw a yellow flag at me for it, because I need a new doorag, but I liked it. Call me crazy, but it was fun to watch. I admit, I smiled many a time, especially when Richie I slapped Talpin’s hat out of his hands. Yeah, you don’t bring that weak-assed crap up in hea, you ain’t got no J.

So, positives, shall we? I look at the sheer, unbridled passion that Bo obviously has as a positive. It’s something that, when worn on a sleeve as Bo wears it, can be used as a powerful motivational tool. It bled through to his players and when Bo believed, they believed. That’s a pretty impressive skill for someone who has never been a head coach. Jammal had arguably one of his finest games at Nebraska which, while not maybe on the same level as Tommie or whomever, was still a damn fine game. J-Lo did his thing, lead the team and drug them to the finish line on the heels of a superb performance by the Men in Black. Everyone got up, went to work and did their jobs and what did we get for it? A 17-3 victory that, as Lee Corso said, “felt more like 46-3”. That’s a win all the way around, 10 of them, in fact.

So, again, here we are at the end of yet another college football season and, I gotta tell ya, I feel a little verklempt. Seems like just yesterday I was beginning my first season being strewn about the internet like betting odds and pictures of Courtney Cox in various states of undress. Nevertheless, it’s been an interesting year as they always are. I feel that, with my readers’ help, I have grown quite a bit as a fan this year and for that, I am forever grateful. Ten wins and three losses, not too shabby and something to build on to be sure. Fear not, though, folks because there is one more SPB left in the 2003-2004 season and while the offseason editions will be rather topical, I’d be willing to bet that the next copy will be on a topic you probably didn’t see coming. Until then, stay safe, take care and GO BIG RED!

Questions, commentary and your renditions of the Angry White Boy Polka can be sent to [email protected]

===Brandon a.k.a.Blankman #71===

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