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Shooting Point Blank

A series of articlesby Brandon "Blankman" Cavanaugh.

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Writing these columns on a Sunday is a good thing for a few reasons. It gives me a chance to let the miracle of footballing settle in a bit, it offers up the ability for my mind to twist and turn into verbal allure so that I might convey to you, the reader, my feelings about the Scarlet and Cream Team. Oh and it also gives me a chance to sober up some after downing half a gallon of cheap wine and chasing it with a block of cheese. So whilst my head throbs a bit and I, very slowly, digest the Five Star Breakfast from IHOP, allow me to regale you with tales of revelry from College Football Mecca Herself.

As I was sitting down in my usual spot amongst the Memorial Stadium crowd, I was unsure what to expect out of the ‘Huskers as they strapped it on against the Kansas City Chiefs wannabes to the east. One thing became apparent very quickly to me, however and I made sure to point it out to Mr. Flynn as he plucked himself off of the FieldTurf once more: The Blackshirts own you, get off the field. Nebraska came out and bludgeoned Iowa State over the head like an Alaskan seal with a 21-0 first quarter, but as the game wore on, I saw more green on the field than at a Kermit the Frog family softball game.

This defense is obviously Santa Claus Incarnate or at least a derivative thereof, because they are surely the gift that keeps on giving. You go three years without a shutout to your name and then, hey, just for kicks, let’s block out the end zone like a solar eclipse TWICE in four games. Coach Pelini continues to be the Master of Manipulation when it comes to devising defensive plans that will probably put several offensive coordinators out of a job. It’s not just Bo, though, folks. MAJOR props go to coaches Sanders, Williams and the rest of the defensive staff. Of course, I realize it gets old reading the same thing week after week, but hey, I’m a big proponent of the old cliché that defense wins championships. Question is, will it be enough for a Big XII Championship? But leave us not get ahead of ourselves and focus on the task at hand.

Blankman’s Wundervoller Läufer Award goes to Isaiah “Hermes“ Fluellen who did in fact run like he had wings on his shoes enroute to 5 totes for 78 yards including a 39 yard run that was so good it had to be fattening. I’ve been a fan of Mr. Fluellen ever since Nebraska stormed the beaches of Germany and brought this fine marvel of evolutionary engineering to the Midlands. I’d have always heard about those European autos but I never thought I’d see one flying down the sideline of T.O. Field faster than LeBron James on a throwback jersey. Isaiah gives Nebraska something very valuable on the field: A severe threat that now must be accounted for. Hint Hint, Coach B. Much love goes out to #28 on the offensive side of the ball and methinks this won’t be the last time he’s hoisted onto our shoulders.

Blankman’s Outstretched Mits Award goes to Demorrio Williams and Josh Bullocks who not only schooled the ISU special teamers like an Ohio State tutor, but Joshua had the unmitigated GALL to snatch up a supposed punt and take it to the Promised Land. Demorrio, much to his credit, also had 7 tackles, 4 of those solo and continues to make a strong statement to all of those folks looking to name a Butkas Award winner. Josh continues to look All-Big XII and hey, even All-American with the way he slices through blockers like a knife through tasty Colby. The fact of the matter is, folks, I find it difficult to just single out defenders because it is a team sport after all and all of the little facets that come together to make me Throw Up Thy Holiest of Bones, but still, I try and along we go.

I would also like to take a moment to recognize a guy who I have garnered a lot of respect for over the past few weeks and his name is Kellen Huston. I cannot tell you how happy I was to see #29 snag himself a pick in the waning moments of Iowa State’s drunken stumble towards the opposing endzone and let me tell you why. Personally, I think Kellen got a raw deal being suspended at all for clocking a guy who absolutely deserved what he got. Unfortunatly for Kellen and myself, the PC Police who have a jurisdiction wider than America’s twenty-seventh president (SPB: Fun AND Informative!) determined that he must sit, but Kellen? You mah hero.
Positives, positives, here come the positives. As each game passes, it seems like this defense is indeed one with moxey, a fire in their belly, what have you, they’re good and when the opportunity presents itself? They’ll slap the ball back into your punter’s face like Shaquille O’Neal on a bad Taco Bell trip. I thought it was cool that the backups scored some solid game time even if it was against a squad who poses about as much of a threat as Gary Barnett after a Colorado recruiting party. Yet another shutout has been posted, yes the Pinnacle of Point Prevention has been reached for a second week and damn does it feel good to be able to pound on a team’s offense for four quarters while keeping them below two-fitty.

On the topic of Jose Dailey, Saturday showed a bit more why, for now he is The New #2, but my goodness, folks, the kid’s got balance and athleticism that, when put into a true frosh, settles my stomach a bit as far as the next three years are concerned, not to mention the kids that could be coming in around February. Joe’s got some really cool potential and no doubt he will captiolize on it. He’s too good of a kid not to, but for now? It’s all about the cool cat wearing the collective IQ of everyone wearing black in Folsom Stadium. (ZING!)

So, up next Nebraska ventures into Austin where they must face the Texas Longhorns, a team who has consistently been able to get Nebraska’s goat and who stand a good shot at doing so yet again. HOWEVER, Nebraska’s defense reminds me of a squad who traveled down to Austin back in 1999 and, save for some fumblitis, played a pretty solid ballgame. If you remember correctly, and I know you do, the Huskers traveled back to San Antonio to meet Opie Applewhite once more and stifled the cries for help of the Burnt Orange Bevos like an Ohio State linebacker (man, what’s with all the Buckeye bashing?). Which team will it be this time? Can Nebraska get over the hump on the road? Is ending an article with rhetorical questions a solid fade out or just the last ditch effort of a guy ready to close the blinds and head back to bed? In any event, Blankmaniacs, for now, for this week, yet again, it’s all good. Stay safe and be kind to each other because if you tell me to shut up when I’m in Lincoln, I surely won’t be.

Questions, commentary, nasty e-mails and those fortified with Vitamin B-12 can be sent to [email protected]

===Brandon a.k.a.Blankman #71===

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