AUNT ROSIE, VOLUME II 2004

Husker Dan's "Aunt Rosie" column is making its second appearance of the summer. Remember: "She's the voice of reason during the football season".

Please welcome her once again.

THE THRILL IS GONE
Dear Aunt Rosie:
I never thought I'd be writing you, but I had nothing else to do. Lately, meaning the last few years, my passion for NU football has waned. Sure, I watch or listen to every game, but the excitement just isn't there. I fondly remember years that when May arrived, I could hardly wait for the first game. Those days are gone.

Admittedly, the last few years, I expected NU to figure out a way to lose. And even though last year wasn't too bad, the hangover from 2002 dulled the effect. Now, I've got my son telling me about all the commitments we're getting from high school seniors-to-be, and I'm still not stirred up at all. I figure when they show up, it'll be time to celebrate.

Could my problem be I'm approaching middle-age (almost 57)? I know it can't be because I've lived in Oklahoma since 1966. (I'd have Colorado stuff on my walls before I'd put up any OU stuff)...and that ain't going to happen.

So, Aunt Rosie, send me a remedy for my malaise. I went to a Husker shop in Omaha a few weeks ago, and only bought a bottle opener that plays the fight song, for God's sake. (My wife says that's because I own everything else.) Show me a sign!
Stan in Oklahoma

Dear Stan:
This is serious business, here Stanley. Real serious. Aunt Rosie used to be a cheerleader when she was at UNL and it looks like that's what you need. No, not a cheerleader, but some cheerleading! Ha ha ha ha! Oh my!!! Aunt Rosie usually has good advice (or some seem to think so), but I must say I'm pretty much stumped on this one. I'm going to ask the readers what they would suggest you do to get back your lost Husker Spirit. Readers? Let me here from you. Write Aunt Rosie in care of Husker Dan at [email protected]. We'll post their responses, hopefully in time for the home opener. (Readers: Be sure to include your name and town.) Good luck, deary.

A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING
Dear Aunt Rosie:
I am a huge Colorado Buffalo fan who, because of a job transfer, finds herself stuck behind enemy lines living in the Cornhusker state. Even though people consider me to be attractive, dates sometimes still are hard to come by. Consequently, in order to make myself more "desirable" for the sake of dating, I have kept my Black and Gold apparel locked up in my closet in Huskerland, opting instead, to wear (gasp!) Big Red duds.

So far, so good. When dates ask me where I went to school, I tell them, but lie and say I've always been a Husker fan. It takes all I can muster just to utter those words.

I've actually tried to "convert" and become a Cornshucker fan, but I keep going back to what I've always believed, that Husker fans are the biggest bunch of spoiled crybabies in college football. If they fail to win a national championship, they just fire the coach. Case in point: Last year, the coach you had, won most of his games and had a 9-3 record when he got the ax last year.

I mean, get real Shucker fans!

The only reason these obnoxious Husker fans have so many consecutive home sellouts, is because the Huskers always manage to win, usually over teams like the Sisters of the Poor-I mean, Western Illinois is the home opener!!!! I mean, get real. If the wins dry up some day, (and they just might this year due to scrapping the Husker option) these so-called loyal Husker fans will fade faster than a Clinton alibi. Wake up and smell the coffee.

Anyway, my problem is, how can I feel better about being such a hypocrite? Am I just selling out, or what?
Anna M.
Omaha, NE
Dear Anna:
If Aunt Rosie didn't know any better, she'd think the "J" word, as in Jealousy, was rearing its ugly head.

For the record, the "spoiled" Huskers' record against your Buffalo chips over the last 42 years is 35-6-1. And I hate to break the news to you, sweetie, but the Huskers have a pretty impressive record over the years-5 national championships, 3 Heisman winners, a bunch of Outland trophies and have not had a losing season since JFK was still chasing skirts in the White House. The Huskers have national championship victories over Miami, LSU, Florida, Alabama and Tennessee-not your run-of-the-mill Sisters-of-the-Poor teams you mentioned. So ix-nay the ap-cray.

Maybe Husker fans are spoiled, but I'd rather be a spoiled Husker fan than be a fan of some rum-dum team like... Well, land sakes, Aunt Rosie can't imagine being a fan of any college football program in the world other than the Huskers! Yes, she's a homer and proud of it!

Getting back to your dilemma, ditching your Buffalo garb is not a bad idea, especially if you want to be popular in Corn Country. However, you shouldn't have to lie about your allegiance to the Black and Gold. Loyalty is what college football is all about.

The problem you have is, now that you've been living the lie for so long, how do you get out of this mess? Try the truth. If you were to tell your prospective dates that you are a Buff fan at heart, but out of respect (?) for the state you live and work in, you're wearing Scarlet and Cream, they would think you to be pretty special person. That's what I'd do. Good luck, deary.

GEEKED UP?
Dear Aunt Rosie:
In your June 2004 column, you had a reader say something about that he was "geeked up" about his job. What the blazes does "geeked up" mean?
Danny M.
Torrance, CA
Dear Danny:
I have no clue. It looks like Aunt Rosie is stumped again...and in the same column! Readers, can you help us out? I'm sure we'll get an answer on this one. Aunt Rosie will post the answers in her next column. Good luck, deary.