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HUSKER HEADLINES:
"ELL CATS" HUMBLE HUSKERS, 38-9
WILDCATS TAME HUSKERS, 38-9
'CATS FEAST ON HUSKER ROADKILL, 38-9
LORD FLOORED, HUSKERS GORED, 38-9
'CATS END HUSKER HOME COOKIN', 38-9
PURPLE PACK ATTACK SACKS HUSKERS, 38-9
'CATS END 35 YEARS OF FUTILITY, AMBUSH 'SKERS, 38-9
ELL IS FOR ELECTRIFYING; 'CATS DOWN HUSKERS, 38-9
 
BIG WED WAP-UP
Once again, it's time for "THE CHIP CHUCKLEY SHOW".
(THE INCREDIBLY LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS THEME SONG BLARES TO THE DB LEVEL OF A HARRIER JET TAKING OFF IN YOUR LIVING ROOM)
BE-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!!!
BE-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!!!!
BE-FAPPA, BE-FAPPA
BE-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!!!!
STU-WAPPA, STU-WAPPA
OH BABY, OH BABY, OH, YEAH,
OH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
(The theme music mercifully fades....................)
"THE CHIP CHUCKLEY SHOW"
Welcome everybody to tonight's edition of "Sports Chat" with your host the Chip Man, himself, Chip Chuckley!!!!!!!!
 
Chip:  Goooood evening everybody and welcome to another edition of "Sports Chat" with yours truly, Chip Chuckley.
 
We want to know what's on your mind after this week's thrashing by the K-State Purple Pack.  They manhandled the Huskers Saturday, giving Nebraska their worst home loss since 1958.  Do you think Bill Snyder ran up the score on the Huskers?  Do you think Joe Dailey should have played earlier in the game?  What do you think the Huskers need to do to regroup for the last two games of the season and what do you think the Huskers must do to get back on track for next year? 
 
You can call us, tofu, er, toll free, at 800-SPORTS CHAT.  The lines are already lit up like Bob Devaney's nose on St. Patty's Day.  Let's go to Greg in North Platte.  You're on "Sports Chat".
Caller:  Hello.  Am I on?
CC:  Go ahead.
C:  Thanks for taking my call, Chap.
CC:  Chip.
C:  Right.  Well, anyways, man, what an el-stinko game by the Huskers Saturday.  I mean, I don't know where to begin.  All right, I DO know where to begin.  Get rid of Solich.  NOW!!  And thank God for the eligibility rule, otherwise we would have to put up with another year of Lord.  Why Solich sticks with this guy, I'll never know.  8 for 26?  You gotta be kidding!!!  Cripes, my grandmother could do better than that!!!  The dude is terrible and Solich needs to be held accountable.  Our offense is so predictable that my 8 year old son can tell what play we're going to run next.  I thought our offense was going to be better this year.  What a joke!!!  We're worse!!!  Our running game stinks.  Can you imagine that?  A Husker running game that is terrible?  And passing?  We're the joke of college football.  If we don't change, we will end up like Kansas or Iowa State.  That's all I have to say. 
 
CC:  You make some good points.  Let's go to our next caller, Earl from Pischleville, Nebraska.  Welcome to "Sports Chat".
C:  I'm a first time caller, but a long time listener.  I agree with that first caller.  I think Frankie has taken a great program and run it into the ground.  We are NOT getting better.  Everybody we play who is any good, we not only lose to, but get bitch-slapped in the process. 
CC:  You don't think the win over Oklahoma State was good?  Or on the road at Southern Mississippi?
C:  We lucked out with the Cowboys.  It was our first game.  They didn't know what kind of a defense we were gonna run, so we caught them by surprise.  As far as So-Miss.  So-What?  Who the hell have they beaten, anyways?  And thank God the 'Clones and Lions were down this year, otherwise, we could be 6 and 5 with a strong possibility that we'll lose our last two games and end up 6-7.  Now that's an improvement over last year, ain't it!!! 
 
I think Frank should go.  That's all I have to say.  I'll hang up and listen to your response.
CC:  You've made some good points.  But we aren't 6 and 5.  We're 8 and 3.  In this day and age of 85 scholarships, a win is a win, no matter how ugly or how bad we think the opponent is.  Just ask Wisconsin, UNLV, Colorado, Kansas State, Texas.  They lost to some of those so-called weak teams you mentioned. 
 
As far as Solich leaving, I don't think that's going to happen.  If Steve Pederson brings in a new head coach, the guy is going to want to bring all his assistant coaches with him.  The program will not and should not bring in another new group of assistants.  If that were to happen, it would be disastrous to recruiting.  So it's not going to happen.  Bo Pelini isn't ready yet to be a head coach and I don't see anyone else in place right now being ready to assume the role of head coach.
I understand your feelings, but let's enjoy all the wins we can.  Let's go to Dan in Torrance, California.
 
C:  Am I on?
CC:  Go ahead.
C:  Chuck?
CC:  Chip.  You're on.
C:  Am I on, Chuck?
CC:  Chip.
C:  Chuck?
CC:  Let's go to Bill in Farnsworth, Connecticut.
C:  Wazzup, dog?  Love your show.
CC:  Thanks.
C:  What did you think of Bo Pelini gettin' in the grill of Bill Snyder?  Did he give him the "A" word for piling on?
CC:  I believe that was his motivation.
C:  Well, I don't know about running up the score.  Bo made the decisions to play his walk-ons and Snyder, being the horse's ass that he is, decided to leave his first stringers in for the entire game.  So I don't see what the problem is.  Both guys made decisions.  Snyder didn't force Bo to play his scrubs.  I kinda dig it that Bo dug into Snyder, but it ain't no big thing.
CC:  I agree with you.  Bill Snyder does things his own way, but you have to wonder why he would endanger his starters during the tail end of a game that was long in the bag for the Wildcats.
Let's go to Manny in Port Arthur, Texas.
 
C:  I'm stuck down here behind enemy lines.  Man, what a terrible month this has been.  First we get slammed by Tex-ass and now we get walloped by Kanz-ass State.  Man, and everybody here knows that I bleed Husker red.  I have to suffer through this humiliation another year.  And we won't be any better next year. 
CC:  How so?
C:  One reason is, our entire quarterback crew next year won't have a SINGLE start in the group.  That means, we'll start out the year like we did last year.  No experience and no depth.  AND, we play at Pittsburgh, at Oklahoma, at K-State.  Plus we lose guys like Demorrio Williams and Kyle Larson.  It's going to get ugly.  The good news is we won't have Jay-Loss any more.  Thank God for that.
 
CC:  Let's go to Matt in Ames, Iowa.  You're on "Sports Chat".
C:  Look, I'm not a Husker fan.  Never have been and never will.  I'm a 'Clone fan until the day I die.  I've been listening to your callers and thinking, "These guys are leaked off at an 8-3 season?"  Do you know how that sounds to us?  You all have been spoiled.  We would LOVE to be 8-3!!!!  We would be going to another bowl game.  Life would be sweet.  But what do you so-called fans do?  You complain and want to run your coach out of town.  Give me a break!!  That's all I have to say.
 
CC:  Thanks for calling.  Maybe we are little spoiled.  Let's go to Brian in Omaha.  Welcome to the show.
C:  I'm a first time caller and I'm a little nervous.
CC:  No problem.  Take your time.
C:  Thanks.  I've been a Husker fan for more years than I'd like to admit.  I've seen this program when it couldn't get a first down for the entire game.  I've celebrated national championships, conference championships, Heisman trophies, Outland trophies.  I've had my guts ripped out at the last minute by teams like Miami and Oklahoma.
 
I've tried to put this year and last year in perspective.  I'll tell you what I think.
 
First of all, the Huskers have gone through similar down years.  Even the guy who saved the entire program in the modern era, Bob Devaney, was almost run out of town after back to back 6-4 years in '67 and '68.  And some of the wins were against not-so good teams.
Our recruiting slipped, play selection was predictable and the fans weren't happy with the results.
 
In '67 we beat Minnesota 7-0, edged K-State 16-14, were shut out at Kansas 10-0 and lost to Colorado 16-21.  The Huskers didn't even go to a bowl game that year.  And '68, things didn't any better.  We had to kick a last minute field goal to beat a so-so Wyoming team in Lincoln, 13-10.  We lost to a good Kansas team at home, 23-13, got shut out at home by lowly K-State and were flattened at Norman, 0-47.  Again, no bowl game.
 
So what did Devaney and his staff do after those two seasons?  They recruited speed and got better talent.  They signed players like Jerry Tagge, Larry Jacobson, Jeff Kinney, Rich Glover and Johnny Rodgers.  Guess what happened?  In '69, the Huskers went 9-2, beat Georgia in the Sun Bowl.  The next year, the Huskers won their first national championship and the year after that, fielded maybe the best college football team ever.  We went 13-0 and demolished everybody we played.
 
So in comes Tom Osborne in '73.  We all remember Osborne as the guy whose teams could never lose, right?  Well, if you go back to the 70s, Tom's record was always defined by his inability to beat the mighty Sooners.  1973 a loss, '74 a loss, '75 a loss '76 a loss, '77 yet another loss.  About that time, Husker fans were calling for Osborne's neck.  "Osborne can't win the big games.  Let's get rid of him."  
 
So coach TO goes to Colorado to interview for the head coaching job.  But thankfully, Ozzie decided to stay put in Lincoln.  In '78, TO gets his first win over the Sooners, only to find out a week later, he'd have to face them AGAIN in the Orange Bowl!  The result?  Another loss to the Sooners.
 
So what did Osborne do?  He went out and recruited better, stronger and faster players.  Guys like Turner Gill, Irving Fryar, Roger Craig, Mike Rozier and Dean Steinkuler.  Guess what happened.  The Huskers returned to dominance.  The Huskers beat Oklahoma in '81, '82 and '83.  The '83 team came within inches of winning Osborne's first national championship-and should have had one the year before had it not been for some horrendous officiating at the Penn State game that year.
 
In 1985, began a series of bowl game losses (NU lost 7 of 8 bowl games).  The Huskers were starting to fade once again.  In '88, the Huskers were stomped by UCLA 41-28 (the game was NOT that close), Miami beat us in the bowl game 3-23 that year.  After the '89 season, Florida State beat on us in the Fiesta Bowl 17-41.  In '90, we lost at home to Colorado, 12-27, got throttled by Oklahoma,10-45, and got dumped by Georgia Tech, 21-45 in the Citrus Bowl.  The following year, we got punked at home by Washington 21-36.  The Huskers even led going in to the 4th quarter of that game.  And in the Orange Bowl that year, the Huskers were embarrassed by Miami, 0-22.
 
So what did Osborne and his staff do?  They recruited differently.  The defense was re-tooled.  Speed, speed and more speed was at the top of their shopping list.  We went to a 4-3 defense.  We got players like Tommie Frazier, Lawrence Phillips, Cory Schlesinger, Terry Connealy, Brandon Stai, Ed Stewart, Rob Zatechka, Barron Miles, Troy Dumas.  But even with those players in the program, the Huskers couldn't beat Washington in Seattle in '92 and were embarrassed in Ames by the mighty Cyclones that same year. (And we had Tommie Frazier at quarterback!)
 
But in '93, the Huskers played for a national championship and if it hadn't have been for the "Phantom Clip" called on Corey Dixon's punt return for a touchdown in the Orange Bowl that year, we all would have celebrated Osborne's first championship. 
 
Husker fans didn't have to wait very long.  The next year, the Huskers beat Miami at Miami and slammed Florida the next year to win back to back national championships.  The run lasted until Osborne's last year as NU head coach in '97 winning yet another national championship.
 
Look, I'm not a big fan of Frank Solich nor Jammal Lord or any number of things with this year's team.  I hate losing as much as the next guy, but these down times have been going on for decades.  The competition is even greater now than it was through most of Osborne's era.  And there is the 85 scholarship limit.  The Big 12 is MUCH tougher than the Big 8 conference we played in when Devaney and Osborne were coaching.  The Big 8 had Nebraska and Oklahoma and not much else. 
 
The Huskers have already begun the rebuilding process.  We are getting into homes we've not been able to get into before.  Our strength and conditioning is back on track.  Our defense will only get better with Pelini at the helm.  Scott Downing brings a new level of spirit and intensity to his position as recruiting coordinator.
 
Now is not the time to point fingers. I would encourage all Husker fans to stay with the program.  It will be back.  That's all I've got to say.
CC:  Great call!!!!  Nice take.  You make some very good points.  I'm afraid that's all the time we have for tonight's edition of "Sports Chat".  Be sure to tune in next time.  Good night everybody and thanks for listening.
(THE ANNOYING THEME SONG BLASTS AWAY AGAIN.)
 
LETTERS:
Mark Down (Manure Falls, KY)
Dude, KU quarterback, Adam Barmann is from Missouri, not Kansas.
Comment: 
Of course, I knew that.  From time to time, I purposely make errors just to see if you readers are really paying attention.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Charlie Horse (Redding, CA)
You misspelled Eminem in your Carnac piece.  You ended it with an "n" and not an "m".
Comment: 
See above.
Barry Lee Able (Well Springs, FL)
You misspelled Brent Musberger's name in your list of "Nuke 'Em Award" nominations.
Comment:
See above.
Derrick F. (Kennewick, WA)
I nominate Husker Dan to your stupid, inane and time-wasting "Nuke 'Em Award" list.  You are an embarrassment. 
Comment:
Husker Dan hates to tinkle on your Wheaties but he will not run if nominated, and will not serve, if elected.  He does, however, thank you for your support.  Have a nice day...
 
You can write Husker Dan with your comments, takes etc. to:
huskerdan@cox.net.  For all the back issues of Husker Dan's stupid, inane and time-wasting columns, go to: huskerpedia.com.  Scroll down toward the bottom of the home page to "Extras".  Scroll to the right and click on "Husker Dan".  That will take you to all my stupid, inane and time-wasting columns.
 
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